bad night

[AZ1970]

Good morning. I was going to journal, but I thought I would write things out here instead. I have not been able to get a good night's sleep in over a week. In a nutshell, my husband has been out of work since December, I was in the hospital recently and am unable to work again, we cannot pay our bills and we are filing for bankruptcy. My autistic daughter is switching group homes this week so that is an added stress. Needless to say I am in a state of heightened anxiety every day. I am taking a higher dose of vyvanse, which could be impacting my sleep. I also take ambien for sleep.

After I take the ambien, my inhibition increases and I am not aware of it. If I cannot sleep I am up and I snack- a lot. I guess it would be more like a binge. Then I wake up feeling horrible about myself. Eating relieves the anxiety, so I understand why I am doing it.

I had a dream about my brother (who I am estranged from), which messed with my brain. I woke up with bad neck and shoulder pain. I must have tensed up while sleeping. We meet with the attorney today for the bankruptcy and I have a bunch of things I need to get done. But I feel like crap.

So I am going to work on my thoughts as negativity and self criticism never helps. I am going to choose the most pressing things to do and allow myself to rest if I need to. I also think I will go get in the pool where we live and see if that helps me relax. Any other feedback or ideas are welcome.

[francime]

One of the best pieces of advice that I’ve received is “just choose the next best thing”. This helps when you are dealing with a variety of situations, as you are. Try to choose the next best thing. So when you snack, try to choose the best you can in that moment. Maybe it’s a handful of m&ms instead of the whole bag. You know, it depends on the situation. But in your moments, try not to solve “everything” but if you look for the “next best”, it’s there.

[AZ1970 in reply to francime]

Thank you. That is good advice. I like that.