This is the first time joining an online group even though I've been diagnosed since I was twenty. I just turned fifty and I would really like to find a way to work, to be productive, for at least a few hours a week. That and control my binging, which has led to being fairly overweight, which is a big reason I can't leave the house by myself very much. My anxiety stems from being afraid of being judged and being afraid of doing something wrong. When my husband is with me I feel grounded and can face a crowd, but, of course he can't always be there. I've had thirty years of pharmacological therapy (I'm on five drugs for my head currently), thirty years of talk therapy (mostly cognitive), hospitalized twice, a bunch of partial hospital programs, ect, relaxation, hypnotherapy, light therapy, meditation, diet restrictions, scented oils, supplements, and on and on. Right now I'm tired. I know I have to keep looking for something that will help, which is why I'm trying reaching out to you all. But I'm tired. I just want a screwdriver and a bag of chips (neither of which I am allowed).