I don’t know anymore

[tbaxley02]

tonight was a good night today was a good day. We were having a nice dinner and laughing and enjoying ourselves and literally nothing happened it was all good but for some reason a little switch in my head turned on and I became wicked depressed and suicidal. It all happened so fast I didn’t know what to do. This happens way too often. I can be perfectly fine then all of a sudden I’m drowning. I have no control over it and i feel like it’s pushing everyone away.

[Starrlight]

Maybe something you thought in the back of the mind or something someone said unknowingly was a trigger for you…

[Starrlight]

hope you feel better soon

[Nothing_but_books]

Try searching "trauma". Something is triggering you.

[Sabbath1]

Similar things have happened to me many times before. I never knew why .

But yeah I find that it could be the simplest thing thought in the back of the mind or something somebody says that just ends up being a trigger, I was triggered by things without really knowing it until I really thought about it.

It can be pretty difficult having triggers you aren't aware of until it happens.

Now when it happens I just try my best to think of positive things or do something that takes my mind away from any kind of thoughts, an escape of sorts.

I hope you feel better soon, and find out what it may be that could be triggering the feelings .

[Raggedy-Ann]

I have this problem too. I don't understand why but I know it will pass. It is a matter of getting through those moments. If I am at home I put on a movie and try to sleep hoping that feeling will be gone when I wake. I have been at parties having a pretty good time and suddenly I am thinking about ways to kill myself right there. I usually excuse myself and go outside and try to shake it off, breathe, drink some cold water and even have a twisted laugh at myself. I know that feeling will pass. It sucks that you are going through this. If you get to a point that you need help call the crisis line, or 911....

[designguy]

What you are probably experiencing is a very vocal inner critic and an inner saboteur that for what ever reason, is trying to prevent you or protect you from relaxing and feeling safe in the present moment and in your life. You may have had a difficult past or childhood and even experienced trauma and could probably benefit from investigating and healing your past. You may also have developed perfectionism and extreme self-criticism in order to cope and survive. You would probably benefit from finding a good therapist to work with if you aren't already to help you investigate your past, process it and heal.