Too Much Weight

[Squadray]

I'm sure I'm not the only one but are there people out there that are bearing the weight of everyone else's problems while trying to manage your own? I find myself being ( or trying to be) supportive in anyway possible for those who need me. But in doing so I'm not spending anytime helping or supporting myself. It's like I can't afford to focus on myself or I'll lose those closest to me because they need me all the time. I don't know if I can manage the pressure and the weight that I feel because of people depending on me. But I also know that I can't be alone, does this make sense?

[Hidden]

It makes a lot of sense and you have got company, Squadray.

[Hidden]

Hello Squadray, yes there are a lot of us here like that. Please remember that if you do not take care of yourself, you will burn out and won't be able to take care of others. Self-Care is an absolute Must. And please check out this website and see if you are a Highly Sensitive Person (as it sounds to me, you seem to have a lot of empathy.)

; )

hsperson.com/

[artistofmysoul]

Hi, Squadray,

No, you don't have to be alone in order to take care of yourself. You just need to set boundaries with people so that you are not overwhelmed by their problems and have no time for self-care.

I have done a lot of reading on Codependency because I needed to understand what causes it, how bad it is for you and those you are in relationship with, and how it can cause much stress and anxiety as well as health issues. In Codependent relationships we don't take care of ourselves because we are so busy trying to help others.

A good book to read would be 'Boundaries' by Cloud and Townsend. From there you could go on to read Melody Beattie's books 'Codependent No More' and' The Language of Letting Go.' I am not trying to diagnose you or make you feel judged. I am walking this path myself and it just seemed like these would be good things that I could recommend to you.

I suffer greatly from anxiety and depression and part of it is because I am dealing with a daughter whose life has been out of control for 30 years, i.e., drugs, alcohol, mental issues including Bi-polar disorder; bad relationships, 3 marriages, neglecting her children. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. I had to draw boundaries to save my own sanity.

We are here for you to listen and encourage you so that you can get some relief from the burdens that are weighing so heavily upon you.