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[anxiouswidow]

Good evening. I’m an Army widow with one child struggling through depression, anxiety and PTSD. I was an EMT for 15 years and then held my husband while he died from duty related cancer. After that I quit my job and went back to school for psychology. I have been hospitalized 3 times due to depression and anxiety and the current relationship I am in. It is not easy for the man I live with to help me through times when my medication needs adjusted or those days when I forget to take it. He is a very reactive and nasty individual when he is defensive. My self esteem has gone down so much I quit school although I am about to become a senior at a well known university. I don’t see that life will ever be truly happy again because even those bits of happiness are clouded by the fact the love of my life is no longer here. My anxiety has gone from just worrying to actually keeping me from living a normal life. I am anxious in social situations when I used to be the person who could talk to or help anyone. I am anxious that my fiancé is going to cheat on me at any moment and it is debilitating. I have no self worth so I eat and drink a lot. I am

Much heavier than when my husband died 4 years ago.

Does anyone experience anything similar with loved ones not wanting to help or not being able to help? Or telling you it’s your fault for being this way?

[Elisa_marie]

Those people who aren’t supportive do not understand the illness. It’s better to be alone than with someone who’s making it worse. That’s easier said than done. My husband tries very hard to support me but he sometimes gets impatient too. But it sounds like your partner is really making you much worse. I’m sorry. Please seek the advice of a therapist. You deserve loving unconditional support for your illness which is not your fault!

[Lyn842]

I am so sorry you are hurting so. I'm also sorry for your loss. Its hard for those close to us to understand. I'm sorry your fiancee lashes out toward you. You don't deserve that. You may need to rethink that relationship! Its normal for the ones closest to us to feel helpless and frustrated but to turn it on you is not helpful. Is your daughtergetting help also? That must worry you too. Try to be consistent with your meds. Keep seeking help. Happiness is not gone forever.