Up late..

[BrandiJo]

Hi guys. I’m up late tonight... thinking about something that’s been eating at me for a long time now. I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 4 years now on and off. She’s my first girlfriend, I’ve had plenty of boyfriends up until I met her, and even in between our break ups. I love her, truly. But when it comes to passion... we are on different levels. My love language is affection, I need to show and be showed physical and emotional affection. I love romance and long conversations that challenge me to think outside the box. I also love sex and having a lot of it. With my girlfriend though, she doesn’t feel the same way. She could go her whole life without sex and be fine. So she says. We’ve had so many issues about how I’m depressed because I feel a lack of love and confidence in myself as a woman. It’s caused my life to be consumed by these thoughts.... I’m grateful for her. And I know God gave me her for a reason and she is special. But I can only feel this lonely for so long... I’m burdened by the thoughts of cheating. Finding a man who will just for one night make me feel completely desirable. Flaws and all. I don’t want to define my beauty and worth based on others opinions of me. And I certainly don’t want to feel this way anymore. I wish I knew if she really just feels anxiety having sex or if she just isn’t as into me anymore. Regardless of all these haunting memories and thoughts that won’t fully make sense to you(since there’s always plenty more to the story), I’m leaving it to God. And I know he doesn’t even want me to be committing all these sins anyway... so who am I to even be mad, right?

Signed,

So confused

[Marshall64]

Have you brought up your concerns with your girlfriend? The physical aspect of a relationship is just as important as the emotional.