Tired

[01harley]

Anxiety has flared up again. Having hard time controlling it. Really would like to talk to people with same thing.

[PessimisticOptimist]

I'm here if you want to talk

[01harley in reply to PessimisticOptimist]

That was fast. Just having kind of a bad morning

Feeling anxious and alone. Lots of people don't understand

[PessimisticOptimist in reply to 01harley]

Hydrate yourself and Go for a 5-10 minute walk (if it's not raining) then do some light exercises and you'll feel better

Do you want to talk about what's bothering You?

[01harley in reply to 01harley]

I've got myself in a situation that has caused lots of stress and anxiety. I wish I had never have done it . But I did and now I need to try to control this

[PessimisticOptimist in reply to 01harley]

Would you mind telling me what it is? Completely up to you.

[01harley in reply to PessimisticOptimist]

I have suffered with anxiety and depression all my life. My daughter and I aren't speaking. She has blocked my number and even the text.i can't get ahold of her. I really do need her,she's my only child. So the depression is getting a lot more. And to she went let me talk to my grandkids. I miss all of them so much.

[BrandiJo in reply to 01harley]

I understand! Not being able to turn your mind off. Not being able to shut the worry off. Believe me, I get it. What are you anxious about?

[01harley in reply to BrandiJo]

My relationships. It seems like every thing is all wrong and there's nothing I can do about it.

[PessimisticOptimist in reply to 01harley]

Did you try writing letters? Maybe if you do, she'll understand that you guys should really talk

[BrandiJo in reply to 01harley]

Well boy do I know that feeling all too well... can I just give you a simple response I’m 100% SURE of? It may not sound helpful. But all it takes is a little rewiring of the way your mind works.

You’re worried about your partner. If you’ll last, what you’ll be without them, what happens if you give it all you got and you still fail? I am currently dealing with this. Four years now. Listen Harley, I’m a Christian. I don’t preach or pressure or lie and certainly don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with me telling you this. But it has taken away so much worry for me, not all of it yet. But I am a lot more worry free now JUST BECAUSE I know that it’s not up to me. It’s as simple as that. Be respectful, follow your heart, and try your best. But always know that your relationship status, your job status, all of it isn’t worth stressing over simply because all of that is out of your control.

NOW if you don’t want to try that or don’t necessarily believe in Jesus, it’s still not worth stressing over because YOU CANT CHANGE IT. It will all fall into place the way ya supposed to. Anxiety buddies, man.... I understand. I am not over mine fully, or my depression, but God is doing wonders for me because I let him. But please, private message me or reach out anytime. I hope my advice helps!

[01harley in reply to BrandiJo]

In this relationship it's my daughter and I that don't get along. That is hurting me terrible

[BrandiJo in reply to 01harley]

Also talking to a 24 yr old who has a father that doesn’t give a shit about her. I wish you luck, but this one I cannot give advice. Hang in there, you always have the opportunity to change things. Sometimes all it takes is time and patience.

[golddragon83 in reply to 01harley]

Does this site offer live chat rooms?

[Agora1 in reply to golddragon83]

Hi golddragon83, this site offers "private chats". Just click onto CHAT at top left of page.

[01harley]

I have wrote to her. She is very stubborn. That doesn't make it hurt any less. Hey would it be ok if u want to since I'm new to tell me a little bit about you? I totally understand if u don't.

[PessimisticOptimist in reply to 01harley]

A bit about me? Wdym?

[01harley in reply to PessimisticOptimist]

I wondered if u were depressed .Just as little bit that is causing u pain.

[PessimisticOptimist in reply to 01harley]

Well I've got bipolar disorder and clinical anxiety. That's all

[01harley]

I didn't mean to sound nosey. I hate to know people other that myself that suffer from this

[PessimisticOptimist in reply to 01harley]

No it's fine this is what this forum is for. I dont have any real friends

[01harley in reply to PessimisticOptimist]

Me either. I don't trust to many people

[PessimisticOptimist in reply to 01harley]

I dont trust anyone at all. Also I'm a Muslim. If you're uncomfortable talking to me just tell me that

[01harley in reply to PessimisticOptimist]

I'm fine with it. Do people really fo that and not want to talk

[PessimisticOptimist in reply to 01harley]

I live in a country labelled a terrorist Muslim country. Whenever I go abroad they do that

[01harley in reply to PessimisticOptimist]

You live in the states and they treat u that way when u go to your home country

[Jamie2018 in reply to 01harley]

Hi Harley, I think I know how terrible you feel. When my daughter moved our I went into a deep depression. Long story short it was a matter of months when she came back. How long has she been not talking to you?

[PessimisticOptimist in reply to 01harley]

No I live in Asia I barely come to the states

[01harley]

This time almost 6 months. And they have been very long months.we have always had a troubled relationship. But this time I feel really worried and upset about it

[Jamie2018]

I get anxiety and depression also. When something out of the norm happens it gets worst

[Jamie2018]

That is hard to deal with. How old are grandkids? I bet they miss you.

[01harley in reply to Jamie2018]

I don't think they do. The oldest is 22 and the youngest 16. So 2 of them could call me if they wanted to. Just another sadness. If I could be as happy as I'm worried and anxious I would be great

How about u. Are u doing ok with the things that are bothering you?

[Jamie2018]

I have grandkids too. I would be devasted. The fact your daughter not talking to you must be on your mind 24/7. Makes it impossible to enjoy anything else right? I know what my therapist would say " get involved with something" and get your mind in a better state and before you know it she will come around. Easier said than done

[01harley in reply to Jamie2018]

Yes that's true. I do some things and then I always wonder what she is doing. But u can't make somebody do what they don't want to

[Jamie2018]

O I see they are grown up. Mine are 1 month,8 months,almost 4 and 6 yrs old. I'm in a good place now but have suffered with several bad really bad episodes throughout the years. The most recent being when I had mammogram and they saw something. Had surgery to remove some abnormal cells. Was scared to death.

[01harley in reply to Jamie2018]

That would be terrible. Hope everything is ok now. I get mad at myself, it seems like I'm only thinking of myself when so many other people have some really awful things going on in their lives

[Jamie2018]

Every thing is fine I of course thought it was cancer but it wasn't. My mental state was more serious than my physical state

[01harley in reply to Jamie2018]

That's good there was no cancer. I would think that would cause u a lot of different emotions that would be very stressful

[Jamie2018]

I worry too much and think worst case scenario. I've got to learn to think more positive

[01harley in reply to Jamie2018]

I do that to. I am really my own worst enemy. That's why I can make myself so miserable

[Jamie2018]

Me too. Do you see a therapist or are you on medication? I have been off and on them but finally came to realise I'll probably be on them the rest of my life.

[01harley in reply to Jamie2018]

Me to off and on, but it's better if I st as y on. In fact I just went back

[Rpan]

Great conversation. I don’t mean to butt in but Harley maybe it’s time to take a good look at your part in this relationship with your daughter. You can’t change the outcome but you can change your part in the outcome. You see we all have some responsibility in how relationships go. You certainly can’t change the past, but you can change the future. What have you done to make your daughter feel as though you are not worthy of s relationship with you at this point? If you can name clearly what your part is you can than take steps to heal, in a healthy way, which can help to build a happy productive relationship with your daughter in the future.

[01harley in reply to Rpan]

I do know the reasons why we have trouble and I have tried very hard to make the future better. But she throws the past up all the time. I have paid for those mistakes. When we get along it's good, but it always ends bad each time

[Jamie2018 in reply to Rpan]

I like your reply. It is wanted to say but couldn't put in words

[01harley in reply to Jamie2018]

Thank you. I never meant to hurt her

[Rpan]

I’m wondering more about you, not that there needs to be some payment emotionally for the past. It clearly seems as though you are tormented in some way today for how this relationship is going. You do have some level of control here. You do have some level of responsibility in this relationship at this point. Truly understanding these points will help you to sort out what are your part is and what are her parts.It’s not a payment for the past it is an acknowledgment within your heart to accept your past experiences and spring forward towards a new relationship with your daughter. This isn’t something you work through with your daughter it’s about searching for your part so thAt the same outcome with your daughter doesn’t continue on. It’s not the easy road by any means but it can lead to a fulfilling relationship, if she so chooses.

[01harley in reply to Rpan]

I really enjoyed texting with u yesterday. It seems like depression and anxiety has us both.i would love to share things and get advice. I am 61 and don't have friends, kind of a loner. I just don't trust people. I'm not outgoing. That's probably why I have bad spells and don't handle things well. I would like to hear from u again, totally up to u

[01harley]

I have lived with the demons of the past. Her dad was a non working pot head and would sleep with my bestfriends even. And he would beat me. I had to end that relationship for so many reasons. I remarried a wonderful man for almost 30 years. She has always not liked that. But she has been married 4 times and in and out of my house, the door was as always open for her and the kids. I've been there for her and always will. We moved about 4 hours from her. And the distances started forming then alot

[Jamie2018]

You certainly have been through a lot. Having depression make dealing with relationships difficult. Perhaps your daughter is dealing with depression too? Could be why she is avoiding you? I know myself that I sometimes don't like my being around my mom she has depression and anxiety I can see all the symptoms in her but she is in denial. Sometimes when I see her it makes me feel worst.thats me anyways