Need help with supporting husband's depression

[Misselle]

I have been married to my husband for 20 years. He is in the military and has been under quite a bit of stress between a move, an unhappy work environment and he tells me he isn't happy anymore. When I ask if anything makes him happy he says no. All the things that made him happy before no longer does. He has now moved to another state for work and doesn't want me or the kids with him until he figures things out. I am sure that he is not cheating or anything else like that. I was able to get him to see a medical doctor and he started taking Trintellix 4 weeks ago. He doesn't seem like the person I have known and it's been for about the last 6 months. However, when he drinks alcohol, I can see a glimmer of what he used to be. He tells me then that he misses me and he needs to get better. He says that all of this is on him and not me and he wants to see if he can be happy on his own. I am really struggling here because he calls and texts me constantly telling me about his day. I have to pretend everything is ok and be strong for him. He is sleeping a lot and barely eating and other than work he is not doing anything. I am crying every day to the point that I am making myself sick. If I push him to make a decision he says we are done. He tried to get counseling from the military but no luck so I am looking for a psychiatrist for him. I just want to see if anyone else has been through something like this. I love him and want to help him but I don't know how long I can do this for.

[Strongheartforever]

This is a tough situation and I wish I could help. What comes to mind is don’t push him, no ultimatums. Sounds like he is stepping away though, maybe to heal on his own. Maybe this break will strengthen you once he is better. Some kind of change is coming, and is necessary for growth. See it as an opportunity to readjust and renew. Life has changed for all of you in the family as it always does and maybe it’s time for a reset. For better or for worse. Hang in there. You’ll get through this pain and torment and gain insight, wisdom, strength and character. Sounds like you already have all of that but more will come.