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Entomophobia

I have entomophobia and arachniphobia. So me being an idiot forgot the time of year and left the back door open last night. 10+ june bugs flew in. I freaked. Now this night, I thought they were all dead but NOPE.

I hear buzzing as I'm sitting on the couch and my heart rate skyrockets. Eventually I hear tons of buzzing from all around me and I'm literally losing my shit. Then I hear what sounds like one slamming into the back door behind me and jump 6ft out of my skin. Then I hear more buzzing on the other side of me and see one flying close to the floor a few feet away and I scream at the top of my lungs. So as it's getting closer the more I'm panicing and feeling like I'm going to legit die. I'm shaking, hyperventilating, sweating, getting chills and hot flashes, I have goose bumps, screaming and jumping at the slightest buzz or movement, and literally on the verge of tears. Just pure terror and panic filling me. So I ran in my moms room after my brother comes out complaining that I'm being a baby and letting the dogs in...so opening the back door. Both my mom and brother think I'm being a baby and tell me to just get over it. Literally my mom tried to kick me out of her room....out to where the bugs are so she could sleep........

As I'm in my moms room, I'm still jumping and flinching at everything out of fear it's a bug. My mom thinks I'm just being a drama queen....tells me to just go out there.

I know treating this requires desensitization through exposure.....which no hell no no...

Anyone else have this hell?

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Oh yes I have a terrible fear of spiders. When I see one my heartbeat skyrockets and I shake and tremble. I can't rest until it's dead.

However I have now taken some control back and when I see one now I deliberately slow my heart rate so I can take more effective action against it. In other words to some extent I have desenitised myself a bit. I now only react violently to big black ones which is a big improvement.

What you need to do is keep a bug killing device handy whether it be just a rolled up newspaper or a spray then you know you can zap them.

I have had others react to me like your mother and say silly things like 'They can't harm you - they are more frightened of you' etc. I now tell them that I wouldn't mock their irrational fears so don't mock mine!

I do think if this is affecting your life this much then you need to look at desensatisation difficult though that seems. I will say if you were my daughter running screaming into my bedroom I wouldn't be happy either! x

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