Anxiety and Depression Support
20,769 members18,437 posts

No friends

When I say I have no friends, I don’t mean I have a some but don’t really talk to to them, I mean I literally have NO friends. I have been losing them for about 3 years now and they are now all gone. I have to think that since I am the common denominator in them is it my fault? I am not the same person I was when these friendships ended and I don’t want any of them back. But it just sucks that I no longer have anybody to talk to. I thought my sisters would compensate for my loss of friends but they don’t. And I’m starting to lose them as well, or I feel like I am. I just feel so alone and I just want to move away, start a new life and leave this city and it’s toxic memories behind. 😩

18 Replies
oldestnewest

Awww I'm so sorry to hear this. I felt that way for a long time too. I used to count on my hand how many people were my friends, and including family (sisters) , I still seemed to come up short. Then I realized that maybe I was counting on the wrong people to be there for me. People are scared of things they don't understand, so they tend to stay away. That's not really a personal thing, its natural human preservative mode. They can't help it. I completely understand however exactly how you feel, and that's what makes this group so great. You are not alone. You are anxious, lonely, sad and scared, but you Are NOT ALONE. I promise you. It's hard to trust strangers but I feel by just joining this website gives us all courage we otherwise lack in all other relationships. Anytime you need a friend, I'll be here for you. I promise you that. Hang in there. We'll all find a way somehow.

9 likes
Reply

Louwho22 you have an amazing way with words. I appreciate this more than you know. That’s all I want from anybody who enters my life, understanding and acceptance because I am that to others wholeheartedly. I do think I counted on the wrong people and the right people will enter my life when it’s time, my past friends, I’ve just outgrown and I’m okay with that, somewhat. Thank you so much, I am thankful for this outlet and people like you! ❤️

2 likes
Reply

😊(hug) hang in there. It takes an incredible amount of courage to admit your fears , especially to an open forum of strangers. You are stronger and braver than you think you are. You are amazing, give yourself some credit for that.

1 like
Reply

Have you tried meetup.com ? I have , and I found lots of things to do with similar minded people. It's worth a look.

4 likes
Reply

I haven’t tried that. But if I ever learn to put my social anxiety aside, I will give it a try. I looked it up and it seems great

1 like
Reply

I think I am too at times, content with being alone, but then again I don’t. I think friendships and relationships will form in time when I have a regular job with coworkers where I can meet people naturally and have more time to do things. It just takes its toll at times.

1 like
Reply

I really miss being employed. I keep falling into depression, and getting bogged down from being unemployed so long.

4 likes
Reply

I’m sorry. Something will come up for you. This is literally my first job that I’ve held consistently for more than 2 years. I felt the same depression every time I use to lose a job. Just keep trying if you are looking and if not, volunteer somewhere or babysit, I’m a nanny and that is how I got into it.

Reply

I don't have any friends either. To me, it sucks. I don't mind being alone but being lonely hurts. I know what you mean about sisters, I have two. While I know they love me, they don't understand my anxiety at all. But it's not just that. I try to do things with them and it very seldom pans out. I work and get along with my co-workers but none seem to have my same interests outside of work. It can get so overwhelming and it has put me into a deep depression more than once. Yes it sucks. If you need or want a friend, I'm here for you also. My mom used to say, chin up, things will get better. They do. They get worse and then better. Such is the cycle. I just need to remind myself that the anxiety and panic attacks make the down times way worse than for most people. It's not you, it's not me. It's the mental health issue we have. It's real. It's as real as any physical illness that people can see. This illness, being hidden like it is makes it so difficult for people to understand. But you and I are strong, we have to be. It's not a choice. Know you are loved. Know your worth. Others will see that too. Gotta believe in what we can't see, like the future.

3 likes
Reply

Thank you. I have been in this spell of no friends for about a year now and I do think it will get better. It wasn’t until I started therapy that I realized no friendship I had ever felt like a friendship. My social anxiety always made me feel as though I didn’t fit in and it still does, even with my sisters. But I don’t want to feel isolated from them, but as much as they try to understand, they don’t. It’s times like this where I wish I could just be “normal” and none of this would be happening. But thank you so much, I do consider everyone on this site a very special friend that understands, I just wish people outside of here were the same.

2 likes
Reply

I know exactly how you feel. I only have one friend... I rarely ever talk to her, or see her. Like ever. It's a drag having nobody.

Reply

It often is. But I do think it will turn around....eventually

1 like
Reply

I once heard loneliness is a habit, and like you I have no friends, but previously did have friends. Some I lost because we turned in different directions in life, but some I finally realized was due to my cloistering and cutting myself off from them, like not returning texts, calls etc. You may be right that you are the common denominator, but realizing that you can change it. Make an effort to reconnect with those old friends you wish to, join a small club (very scary for someone like me with social anxiety disorder) and maybe make new friends. Do not be discouraged if it doesn't happen overnight. You, like I once was, are probably out of practice of how to make friends and make lasting connections. It is very hard, but persevering and making a true friend is maybe the most rewarding feeling in the world.

I won't lie though, rejection, and perceived rejection can be terrible mountains to climb, but if you do accomplish it I guarantee it will be the best feeling ever, better than drugs or sex, the accomplishment of what all humans are hardwired for, true in person connection. I wish you luck on your quest (turning it into a game where interacting with strangers gave me exp and getting a friend leveled me up, i am a nerd, actually helped me overcome a lot of my SAD) so best wishes and may you find a true blue friend who can support you in bad times and share in triumphs in good times.

Ice9

1 like
Reply

I think the same thing happened with me, I would flake a lot and not return calls or text, but it was often a two way street. I don’t want to rekindle those relationships, I just want to make fresh friends or get to know people who are not close minded. But like you said there needs to be effort in the execution on my part, and I want to try but like you I too have social anxiety. But I do try interacting when I do go places, like stores and out to eat. Just to make sure I still know how to hold an adult conversation. I just have it in my head that once I get into a job that doesn’t take up my time and allows me to have coworkers and do things with adults instead of kids I will make friends and be okay. Thank you! I do hope to find my true blue friend

Reply

It's still surprising to me to read stories or talk to people that sound so similar to me. I used to feel so alone and it's just still a shock to now see that most others feel that way, as well. I relate to your words so much. I think that, for me, my depression got the better of me and it really takes a special kind of person to stick with you through that. Not that they wouldn't, but I didn't talk to people about anything so then I would stay to myself, depressed and before I knew it I had accidentally alienated myself from everyone. And once you do that, people don't expect much from you and then they don't contact you. But once I wrote out a letter to all the friends I alienated and sent it via Facebook. I told them that I was lonely and was going through a lot and didn't mean to do that, it just happened. The amount of outpour I got in return at least showed me that they were STILL my friends, even if I couldn't necessarily be a friend back. I always felt so alone.

Also, you said you feel like going away somewhere new. I actually did just that. I got to a low point and felt like everyone had taken everything I had and left me alone. And then my sister sucked me even more dry, taking advantage of me and giving me nothing in return. So I left. I thought, I can't keep going this way. For me, I ended up being refreshed at first, then slipping back.down and getting worse. I realized that my problems were within and moving didn't make them go away, they were still with me.

2 likes
Reply

So similar. I had a nasty habit of ghosting my friends in the past, for months on end at times but it never came without an explanation. This time though, there wasn’t any. I went through the hardest time I think I have ever been through last year and I had no one. Not a soul. When I did reach out there was nothing there, from anybody, friends or family. Except my little sister and brother. I hid a lot of what I was going through because it was a situation that, even though I and everyone saw coming, it still hurt like hell. But now since I got through it alone, I don’t want that past feeling brought up again and I think those friendships bring them up. It’s a lot of things where I live that I feel like are hindering my growth because they are all bad memories and moments here. But I’m also afraid of moving and having to really deal with my internal issues alone and sinking too far. But I want to try. I want to try to be myself, like be everything to me instead of being everything to everyone else. I’m just really trying to be happy.

Reply

Hi Wairb. I understand your situation. But honestly running away is not an option . If you move without dealing with the issues you ll make things worse

I understand your loneliness. I face it too. Everyday I hope I’ll find one person that will be there and support me

I am there for you . I understand what it feels like to have no one .

1 like
Reply

You’re right but idk how to deal with my issues with people if their close mindedness won’t let me get my point across or my social anxiety hinders me from really expressing myself. Idk why but I just want to try. That’s all I want honestly is someone who wholeheartedly understands or if they don’t, they try to. Thank you

Reply

You may also like...