Panicking

[Cat26538]

I can’t stop shaking and crying. I’m scared of going to therapy. I feel like I’m being judged even though I haven’t gotten there yet.

[YoungSimba]

Hi cat26538

It’s okay to be nervous, therapy is a new experience and opening up to someone is hard but especially hard to someone you don’t know. But your therapist will NOT judge you, they are there to help you. I was very nervous and anxious my first time going. I started with my therapist about small things and asked her questions as well, it helped. You don’t have to spill everything the first time but start with what you’re comfortable with. You can even start with how you are feeling about therapy. Just Go in with an open mind, they are there to listen. The fact that you are going is great!

[Gabiopal53 in reply to YoungSimba]

I second that if it wasn't for therapy I probably wouldn't be here right now the medications help me cope they aren't like a Tylenol that you can take and things will all go away but they are medications to help fix the miscommunications in your brain which is what they say depression is it's just things misfiring anxieties the same way those with PTSD schizophrenia and any number of mental issues it helps them cope it doesn't fix them once a depressive always a depressive too bad there isn't a depressive anonymous like there is for alcohol gambling and drugs.

We have got to band together and make things more aware for people who may or may not be suffering there are places to go there are people to talk to even if it's just through a cell phone it's something.

My therapist also suggested for me to keep a kind of Journal and in each day weather its first thing in the morning or last thing at night right in it something positive anyting I got up and brush my teeth this morning I got to shower and felt better I saw a pretty bird and heard it singing and know that spring is right around the corner and then I'll be able to get out more with the winter we've had in Michigan it's so nice to think it's at its end and soon they'll be so many things that I can do go browsing go swimming the only downside to that and I hate to mention it is that I'd be doing it alone I have one friend but he's 83 years old and although we are very close it scares me sometimes what would I do if I didn't have him he helps keep me sane and although he's a guy and he's not gay that's for sure he's got 6 kids he's widowed and although he doesn't know what to say or how to say it sometimes and he can't be with me all the time he still helps keep me sane he keeps me going because I don't want to lose him and he's already lost his wife to cancer I don't know what he would do if he found me dead one day and I have grandkids they don't visit very often their mom's really busy and they've got their little lives shoot the youngest is 10 years old pretty much able to fend for himself and grandma isn't as important as she used to be but that's my thing that's my cross to bear and if along the way I find someone who will help me carry my cross who will be there for me whether it's 3 in the afternoon or 3 in the morning that will also help me so do your best that's all anyone can ask and don't take the coward's way out if you don't want to take medications that's strictly up to you but they will help you cope it'll take awhile for them to get into your system about a month but in the meantime you can be seeing your psychiatrist or psychologist or therapist and working through maybe some of it or just yakking just talkin getting it out they won't judge you they won't admonish you but one thing you must be careful of if you mention your thoughts of suicide they do have the power to have you committed even if it's just at 72-hour hold and you don't want that trust me unless of course you really really need it it's like being in a prison they tell you when to eat when to sleep when to play they have group sessions that if you don't talk then you're not part of it and they admonish you for that it's just a shortcut A Safe Haven but it's only for a little while and then you have to come back home and you have to be expected to function others not realizing that you need a transition the last time I was in the hospital it was required for my release again it sounds like a prison right for me to be sent to a daycare type Center where you went and had group talk and ways of coping and all of that but the good part was at you worn in prison if you had to go to the bathroom you just got up and went to the bathroom if you wanted a cigarette which some of us do walk outside asleep from your medications nine times out of 10 they won't wake you because they know that the medications is what causing you to fall asleep I'm sorry this has been such a long post but I hope it helped you some I will pray for you I will pray for all of us and I go to Mass on Wednesday and they allow special intentions special prayers for people who are struggling and even though I don't know your full name I can just say a friend which I hope to find here friends people who really care people who understand and those who are in a good place helping others who are in a bad place and the others that are in the bad place realize with their mind that's it's the depression or the anxiety or the fear or the loneliness and I think even if we weren't diagnosed with depression anyone that is stuck all winter long in an apartment by themselves what go a little cuckoo people are naturally drawn to other people men to women women to men girlfriends boyfriends and any other close relationships I don't want to start rambling which I probably already am I'm just trying to help and be supportive even though we're complete strangers we are people with something in common an illness just like cancer or AIDS or HIV or diabetes or hepatitis we have illnesses and although some of us don't have outward appearances of being ill it doesn't mean we're not and it doesn't mean that people can judge us and tell us that it's all in our head well I used to hear that all the time my folks take me to the doctor and then at the time they didn't find anything wrong I had one Doctor Who the last time I saw I cussed out because he called me a hypochondriac emotional distress can bring on about any other physical situations unfortunately I do have physical limitations I'm legally blind and I have a really screwed-up back from a fall about 10 years ago they can operate because my disks are deteriorating and some of them are bulging but they can't fix them because they'll just start bulging again so if people see me walking hunched over or with my cane which I use sometimes then they see this person's injured is persons hurting they just don't know how much sorry for the rant but once I start talking in my mind starts racing there's so much I want to get out it's hard to do this via posts

May God smile down upon you and help you may not believe in him but he believes in you and so do I.

[hypercat54]

Why would a therapist judge you? It they were like that there is no way they would have gone into that field in the first place. A good therapist will provide a safe place for you to explore your feelings and to help resolve them.

Make sure you go as I am sure it will help you. x