Uh oh! I’m alive!

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

It’s 3am. My body is starting to get angry at me and lashing out. I’m already getting stiff from my wild hour and a half of badminton! I’m signed up again next week though. Every Tuesday. Noting sounded boring. I want to have fun and play sports. Easy sports that is. I feel like I did pretty good. I didn’t aim it at the other team well so they missed a lot of mine but I hit them. Not every time of course but I have to leave something for next time. 😂 Actually next week is Tennis. I’ve never been into tennis and you wouldn’t catch me in one of those teeny skirts if my life depended on it. This is for fun though. Not points. We don’t keep score. If you can’t reach it then go pick it up and hit it back. It’s very fun. I think my primary soreness is simply from being out of shape for a year. My doctors would kill me if they knew. Oh well. I don’t pay them to kill me. I pay them to fix me when I’m broken. Which happens a lot but it’s worth it. A broken bone is normal to me. I hardly know how to act without one. I refuse to sit in the recliner and wait to die! I would rather have one night of fun and 2 nights of rest than no fun at all. I’ve wasted the last 2 years of my life and gained weight. I’m sick of it. I want to LIVE! I want my dash to be more than she had a hard life between my birth date and death date on my casket. I want it to mean life love and fun! I would rather die than live like this. So I’m changing. I have some fun stuff in the works. Dinner and a play, roller skating (I use to be quite good) or roller sitting and socializing, easy sports is every Tuesday, knitting every Thursday I just haven’t made it yet, book club, bingo, game night, French Food festival, a leisurely hike around a park etc. I am hurting but it’s a good hurt. A worth it hurt. I hurt so much and it is awful. If I’m going to hurt I need to make it worth my while. Ya never know it may just help. Now that’s positive thinking right there y’all! I love your support so much. I know I post a lot but I am seriously listening to everyone’s points and suggestion and it helps me so much. My counselor I had told me about meetup when she left me. There is something for everyone! I will find something to do if I feel like it on my birthday Saturday. I may not but maybe. He better step up and engage cuz this train is running on a whole other railroad track and I like it. Meds finally quieting the voices in my head. Time for some sleep. Thank you all so much for helping me find my life. Baby steps but it’s coming!

[old-soul]

Bay steps for sure Tink. My goodness, easy does it doll! For real. I'm thrilled to hear that you are feeling well and deciding to launch out on a new course, but my hard-earned, hard-headed experience suggests a sort of "easy does it" let the butterfly come to you kind of approach. It may be completely different for you, but I have found time and time again that reminding myself to "pick a pace I can maintain for the long haul" or I am guaranteed to hit a wall and fall flat on my face in a week or two.

You know, I live in a northern latitude where many are subjected to the effects of Seasonal Affective Disorder. (SAD) I hate the fact that they use the word "disorder," when in fact the effects of really short winter days are actually nature's way of encouraging living beings to slow down and use less resources during the winter months. It's INDUSTRY and the money machine that want's us to continue to GO GO GO during these winter months, and if anything is a disorder, it is greed, selfishness and un-relenting self-centerdness.

I could type for hours on this subject, but you know, I think I'd be preaching to the choir, Tink. I think you know exactly where I'm going with this, hu?

I am glad you are feeling so energetic. I'd just hate to see you burn out and crash.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to old-soul]

I am sure I’ll miss stuff here and there. I got upset the first time I had to cancel a meetup but then processed and decided I’ll just do what I can when I can and have fun at it. My arm/elbow is feeling better. Time to do it again. I’m not afraid of getting hurt too much. That’s been the story of my life. I played hard sports and was wild all my life. My mom use to say if I don’t stop they will take me away from her for abuse because I got hurt so much. Me and my sister. She was my role model. I think once a week is perfect. Today I’m going to try to go target shooting if possible and then I have to work. I can’t do anything very physical more than once a week because it takes that long to recover. Including working as a cashier in a gas station. I worked in Surgical/Cardiac/Trauma ICU for 14 years before it became too much. Then as a substitute teacher for years. Now I love my care free job that I could quit tomorrow. It makes it fun. Regular customers asking me why I’m so happy all the time. I choose to make that happy. I’ve had a few anxiety flairs but none I wasn’t able to work through. Anxiety is my normal. I just live with it. Sometimes better than others.

I get winter blues. Weather kills my arthritis. So does rain though. I do think for me Spring motivates me to have fun. I’ve been wanting too anyway. I think I’m at the point now where either I get out or explode! I’ve been stuck in here for way too long. There will be times I need to rest or just don’t have anything planned. I keep my grandson during the summer too. He keeps me going a lot. We also play video games or color etc when I’m tired. If I establish myself in my groups I can come and go as able. I’ve turned down some activities that just don’t appeal to me too. It’s all good. Just fun and games.

[Hidden]

I hate tennis lol im always anxious someone would hit me in the face with the ball and leave permanent damage and roller skating sound fun but what if i fall and break a bone or my teeth 😂😂😂 knitting sound safe

[old-soul in reply to Hidden]

I absolutely love your sense of humor Danielle. Thank you for the long overdue belly laugh.

Now, where knitting is concerned, be wary of that world cup high-speed "Extreme Knitting." Injuries were rife at several invitationals last year.

The ruling body decided that the use of a beeswax and silicone mixture on the knitting needles would be allowed, in spite of complaints that it gave competitors an unfair advantage over knitters using un-treated needles because it also reduced the number of yarn flash-fires due to the friction caused when knitting at a competitive level.

Unfortunately, however, there has been a higher rate of "needle loss," which is when the competitive knitter looses their grip on the needle causing it to fire out of the item being knitted like a bullet from a rifle. Already, several would-be contenders have been injured, the worst injury being that suffered by the world-renowned "Granny Thunder Fingers" when she lost controll of the needle that, too this day medical experts have found no safe way to remove from her head.

GTF (fadoring fan's moniker for Granny Thunder Fingers) commented shortly following her release from the hospital that, while there was no actual yarn flare up comnected with the unfortunate accident, she did experience some stinging in her eyes and felt that there may have been a slight smoke odor, perhaps caused by the beeswax and silicone material on her needles heating up.

In other sport injury news, dominant badminton superstar Vladimir Moltov's . . . "

[Hidden in reply to old-soul]

O my God ok knitting definitely not safe it looks fun though now im sticking with gardening which seems more complicated than i thought. People on tv make it look so easy