Needing a Reason

[kelsruby90]

I am reaching out because I feel so lost right now. I’ve struggled with my mental health since I was 7 years old. Does anyone else feel just SO freaking tired? I want to live but I am exhausted. I try so hard to relieve my symptoms and I do all the “right” things only to have my depression cycle back again.

Each time it comes back it feels different but this time it’s really bad. I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel and my thought distortions are severe. I am convinced no one likes me, that people who say they care are lying or faking it, that I exhaust everyone I care about and that it’s never going to be any different for me.

List of things I’m trying:

-Counseling (when there isn’t a significant waitlist)

-Journaling

-Exercise

-Praying (in a desperate manner)

-Reading

-Talking to my fiancé and one friend who understands mental health

Nothing is working and I am spiraling.

[Marcus2]

I'm sorry to hear that kelsruby. I know how it feels to be too tired to do anything. I also feel apathy and hopelessness. It sounds like you are doing a lot to take care of yourself. Only thought I had would be to possibly see a doctor to have your thyroid checked (helps regulate energy levels) and possibly discuss antidepressant medications if you're open to that. How often does your depression come around?

[kelsruby90 in reply to Marcus2]

Thanks Marcus2. I have had my thyroid checked before with nothing concerning. But I am considering going back to antidepressants. I was able to go off of them for about a year before I began a new depressive episode about a month ago. I get one about every year.

[MissL27]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I myself know the feeling. It is not easy getting through it. Although, you are trying all the right things, it’s clearly not working. There are people here than can help.

[kelsruby90 in reply to MissL27]

Hey MissL27, thank you for that support. I think sometimes it feels the hardest/hopeless when you are doing all the “right” things. Trying to keep working through it and reaching out on here helps