this is just a follow up from my last post, i was hurt by what someone commented and when i get hurt i respond with anger. im not sorry for what i said im just sorry if someone was hurt by what i said.
follow up: this is just a follow up... - Anxiety and Depre...
follow up
39 Replies
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You cannot control how others feel, only how you'll feel about them. Apologizing to someone who dared get into your business and 'decide to get offended' says more about them than you. I didn't see your first post but I spend many, many years angry so I'm here if you need me.
in reply to
thanks
hypercat54 in reply to
If you didn't see the comments then you can't make decisions like this. The poster asked for advice then became abusive when advice was given. That is not acceptable on here and nothing to do with 'decide to get offended'.
Before getting angry on here it is always a good idea to think of the rest of us who are suffering our own issues and could be made worse by your anger. This site is run for the benefit of the majority not the minority after all.
in reply to hypercat54
ok well they didnt have to say it the way they did, you tell me to take into consideration how it could affect someone else when they didnt.
HearYou in reply to
Perhaps it's time to drop this and move on.
Agree 100 per cent.
in reply to hypercat54
I don't have time to spend as much time as others do on this website, I'm sorry. Please don't email me personally ever again. If you have something to say, please say it on here. It's really none of your business, but I've been very sick -I've had a stroke in my late 30's - and I don't think your judgement of me not answering within a few days is ridiculous and ignorant. I keep in contact with the people who don't feel the need to hide behind a computer screen and be mean to people. I agree that we all have our opinions but not knowing my story we all could say the same about you. Everyone here has an opinion but you do not have to be rude about it. Period. PS. I hate cats.
HearYou in reply to
Oh, my this is going downhill...see it coming. Perhaps no comment should be made if the issue wasn't read. No reason for aggression.
I can't add too much more than what hypercat and fauxartist said on a previous thread. The people who responded to you sincerely wanted to help. Of course we don't know your boyfriend better than you do! It's just that from where we sit, it's looks like you're giving a lot more than you're getting in this relationship.
No one has any business telling you what to do. That's for you to decide. The purpose of this forum is understanding and support, but someone may also include some advice based on his or her experiences in life. They may feel that you're making the same mistake they did, and they want to tell you that. You may not agree - you always have the final say in your own life.
I wish you well.
in reply to jkl5500
if they wanted to tell me that they could have said it nicely instead they didnt.
jkl5500 in reply to
I reread all the posts on that thread that set you off. Some of them were pretty blunt, but maybe that's because they've already been through this kind of thing, and have a "harder shell" than most people. The main point was that they weren't making fun of you. They were simply giving advice.
I'm sure this whole thing is difficult to read for you, as it contains advice that is upsetting right now. As always, the final decision is yours to make.
Madison10 in reply to
Texting or messaging has a tendency to take. It’s own attitude. We all read things differently. We all have issues. I’m sure the person was trying to help you. We all speak differently too and sometimes words hurt. I would suggest letting it go and talking to some other people
Good luck
HearYou in reply to
Please, just let this go.
HearYou in reply to
"They could have said it nicely"?......whoa, take a breath. The administrators had to delete foul language in some of your posts and replies......
Mindracer_01 in reply to
The truths sometimes that's all but we have to learn to take corrective cristism better when people are actually trying to help sometimes it's good not to sugar coat the truth just let you have it uncut some people learn their lesson better by the hard truth.
No one is perfect but if they choose to reply and try and help you have to assume their intentions are good. Two wrongs don't make a right!
Agree, and this is taking way too much time and room.....it's time to move on.
In response to "HyperCat"? who quoted something I said, please remember I mentioned I did not read the information that led to your rant about them not following the directions. I was offering to help. I'm sure they appreciate your offer of help, but berating someone who is reaching out of for help may make you feel like 'you showed them', but in all honesty the people reading this, trying to help, aren't picking on people and calling them hypocrites because of the way they answer. I could accuse you of being a hypocrite for the same thing, but I'm here to help, not hurt. Use your own advice and use judgement before just typing whatever pops into your head. The old adage, "if it's not nice, don't say it" applies well here. We're here to help. I don't understand how making PURELOVE feel worse is helping in any way. I'm only responding because you decided to misquote me and I think you need to think about the things you post so as to not make others feel worse. I am a sufferer myself, and I didn't get the feeling you were trying to help me...I got the feeling you were trying to show me up and make me feel bad...just as you have several others. You don't have to have the last word and you don't have to win every argument. Don't comment if it bothers you. Let the ones who care take that responsibility.
hypercat54 in reply to
I answered their post in good faith and gave a genuine reply as always. I can be blunt but would rather be that than a soft soaper or someone who makes judgements without knowing the facts.
Do you know what? I have enough problems of my own without all this s*** I don't know why I bother trying to help anyone, especially a new comer. I don't need it. I have always tried my best on here to answer others but don't need hassle and to be attacked.
Why don't you take my place and answer as many as I do? I am sick of it. I am bowing out of trying to be a 'nice' person as so many seem to think I am horrible so forget it.
Have never seen you ever be anything but honest; you've been on this community a long time and offered straight forward support, even if an overly sensitive person could respond negatively.....wish folks would just ask for clarification rather than attack. Don't leave.
hypercat54 in reply to
Well I haven't seen you replying to any others yet. You have slagged me off enough for me to lose my confidence in replying so why aren't you now taking my place? I thought that was what you wanted after all? Make sure you read the posts first though so you understand the issues.
Please don't disappear. You're needed. Just take a few deep breaths. You are straightforward, sometimes blunt when too much handholding is not helping anyone, but you have always cared and replied when others won't. Sometimes it can be tempting to tell people to sh*t or get off the pot , but that is not you and don't respond in kind. No need. Your effective presence is well known. 
HearYou in reply to
I really couldn't tell who you were writing to, but overall, that doesn't matter. I read your lengthy reply twice, and you appear very angry and maybe you could have taken a different approach here. Your last few lines appear very confrontational to anyone who reads them. Please, let's drop this. A newcomer to this venue would be discouraged to speak out.
hypercat54 in reply to
Hidden I still haven't seen you responding to any posts in the past 9 days. Why not as you seem to be the 'expert' in how to talk to others. That's how you have set yourself up anyway. It's easy to talk the talk rather than walk the walk after all isn't it. I look forward to you teaching me how to respond appropriately to others.
Oh and to the 3 people who liked your attack on me perhaps you would like to stick your heads above the parapet and tell me your opinion yourself instead of hiding behind someone else's skirts.
If enough of you thoroughly dislike me on here I am happy to leave.
Dear hypercat 54,
Don't leave. Don't even think about it. This has turned into a pi**ing match and for some reason, you're the target. You have been a mainstay of this forum for a long time and you are correct, you do respond to newcomers frequently and that takes time and effort. And sometimes you "cut to the chase". Which may take some people by surprise. But I prefer frankness if it helps.
I have no idea what post or reply started all this. My time available for this forum is limited due to other life demands. Am absolutely tired of reading about whatever was written that started this embarrassment to the venue.
Will someone direct me to whatever reply or post that is causing such demeaning havoc?
Have contacted the administrators about the need to perhaps remove several people permanently from this forum for violating the guidelines of the venue.....and that is based just upon how disgusting the replies are in this thread, without even knowing what kicked off women to act as they are in an alley cat fight.
The people involved would never write like this if their real names and addresses were attached. And I'm not talking about hyperkat54. Her long history of appropriate posts and replies speak for themselves. One may not agree with her, but she steps up to the plate when others won't.
I don't even recognize the pseudonyms (usernames) of the others. That means they are not trying to offer support often.
Please drop this issue and get on with life if administrators don't remove certain members from this venue permanently.
To any newbies, this is venue is a good one and this embarrassment is not typical of the members of the venue. Please don't turn away because if it.
(and doubt if anyone in the fray knows what "parapet" is/means....ladies, its time to be ladies,ok?)
Many thanks HearYou I appreciate your comments. It's good to know not everyone dislikes me enough to slag me off or like someones else's replies when they do. I am human too you know and have my own issues like we all do. x
I believe hypercat54 deleted several of her posts after her dispute with purelove, so the evidence of the start of all this is gone.
Thanks. I read all Purelove's posts and how she handled the replies. Got a good idea what happened. Take a look at her post "People". It's sick. She and another venue member discuss the power of their anger and how to use it to harm others who they feel have slighted them. Got bad enough I responded that the comparisons two bit**s anger and damage they plan and do, does not impress anyone. Told to drop it or wrap it up ,take it off the venue and into the alley where it belongs.
Have sent PM to administrator1 requesting they be removed from the venue. No support for anyone, and attack people who reply, are a danger to themselves (they discuss their cuttings) and emotionally to venue members and tired of administration's need to delete pureloves language. We'll see....
I did read those deleted Hypercat posts. Mostly, it was what everyone else was saying - that she's getting the short end of the stick in this relationship, and she should recognize this. Obviously, this struck a nerve, causing the X-rated response.
I may be wrong, but when Stacktastic said she "cuts deep" when she gets mad, I didn't take it literally. I thought she meant that she hits back hard at her foes. Either way, you are right - all this is getting way off track as far as what this forum is about.
Since you're a lawyer, maybe you can create a Cease and Desist order.
Hello. Cease and Desist? No. Maybe eviction by administrators. Whether "cuts deep" maybe figurative, think may be literal also. Thought had responded to you already. Apologies.
Hi TODAY is a new day. I think all the responses where meant to advise you to help you. some people use stronger words than others. take the good from them for you with blessings n let the rest go. 💖
Hi Purelove, Stacktastic, Samson, Hypercat, etc.
So, this is the way it's gonna be, huh? Well BOO, HOO, HOO!
Now THAT was meant to be condescending & mocking. Please know that I'm using this as an example only. I felt my intro was fine & gentle. Then I got into some very poor demonstrations of trying to get my point across. I believe that all caps should be reserved for something that is clearly a joke or, when used, talking about something wrong with myself that I need to take a look at or someone I know that is close to me or vital to my experience.
On a very personal level all caps seems like someone's yelling. I have used all caps on this forum, but this is a good reminder for me to be very discreet. The hard part about texting or typing is that it is left to interpretation. There's no inflection or tone of voice like there is in direct conversation.
Because I tend to be easily wounded & defensive, people can write the most innocent things & I might take it as criticism. I do this a lot with my hubby, but I think he really is being critical towards me no matter how many times he says he's not. 😀
Take care Ya'all!!
Regardless of what is going on with a member of this community, it doesn't excuse poor behavior to another on or off this community forum. Let go of what happened and all of us move on.xx
Why are you throwing yourself under the bus? You have absolutely no reason to explain your life or intent for trying to help Purelove.
I have spent the evening reading posts by Purelove and her attacks on the people who reply. Then she cries hurt.
Purelove appears to have some issues, as the only person I have seen in the posts where she has 'pure love' appears to be for herself, not others. And she may not realize that is how she comes across.
Please read her post "People" where she discusses with another member of this forum the deepness of their respective anger and how they use their anger to hurt or harm other people. Purelove wants to talk more with the other member who brags about how she has hurt people. Completely different side (or heart) of both these women.
Welcomed....you can delete your message and get out from under the bus if you choose.
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