Trying to find myself

[sav_11]

In the past six months I’ve pushed away my best friend, I fell in love with him and after he started to fall for someone else I started to push and fight meanwhile my anxiety got worse. Not wanting to hurt him any longer I asked for a break, while taking that break his depression came back and he lashed out at everyone. We are now talking again and I’m just in so much pain because I put him in pain. I just worry my anxiety caused me to permanently break a relationship with my person. How do I stay patient waiting for him to forgive me while trying to not suck him into my anxiety farther. I don’t want my anxiety to exhaust him but I also know his presence makes me happier.

[fauxartist]

It's a delicate balance and it's hard, but you will find a way. I would just suggest you say to him exactly what you just said here...really....just be honest...then ask him to be honest with you....that's what good friends do....they work it out. And if you two need to have time out's, that's okay too...everybody needs time to re-group. Yes it's harder when you have anxiety and depression, but we have to find a way to live with it, or we just give up and stagnate...we can learn to live with it, warts and all. Just like the two of you can be honest about your stuff and how it makes you feel sometimes.

I will tell you this though....stop guilt tripping yourself about thinking your able to bring on your friends depression, that's not anybody's fault...it's his chemical make up, and your anxiety is too, yeah our environment to a certain extent determines our ebbs and flows...but we are not responsible for another's happiness or un-happiness...we all make our own choices there.

[sav_11 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you, I needed this, thank you so much

[fauxartist in reply to sav_11]

:)....you'll be okay...baby steps...eventually we get there....