Feeling Overwhelmed

[CBG206]

I'm new here. I know I suffer from depression and often severe anxiety. I do my best to cope with it. I have a 3 year old, and I have really worked to be better so I can be a good mom. Right now, we are dealing with possibly life changing issues and I am desperate for guidance. I'm just overwhelmed by fear right now. I have terrible social anxiety that I've really been trying to fight so my son can play with our neighbors and be in play groups and such. But two things are weighing on me heavily right now, and I'm terrified to go anywhere with him. 1) Guns. It's not a political thing, it's a very real threat to me. We live in Texas where people literally just walk in stores with a loaded gun strapped to them. The shooting in the church nearby, including several little children, just paralyzed me. I have two years until my son starts school and I cannot imagine dropping him off everyday knowing he may be shot while there. My 5 year old niece is doing live shooter drills in kindergarten. We have threats called into area schools multiple times a week now. And all anyone wants is to add more guns. I get into fights with family members over their gun ownership, and they are all just such angry paranoid prejudiced men, it feels completely hopeless. They are exactly who you don't want to have guns, and they are everywhere. 2) My husband's has one American parent & one Canadian parent. He was registered as having dual citizenship for years, until 9/11. Then he was told he had to reapply for citizenship through his American parent. This has not worked, it's been many many years and tons of money down the drain. To apply through me, he has to go to Canada for months, and would lose his job. I live in constant fear of him being pulled over for a tail light out and then being deported, or irritating someone at work and them turning him in to ICE. It feels like we are just going to have our lives destroyed at any moment and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't want to leave the house, I don't want him to leave the house. I'm angry with him for something that's not at all his fault and I'm angry with myself for not being able to keep my family safe. I feel weak and have no idea what to do about our situation. Sorry, that was a lot. I don't even know what I'm looking for here, I'm just reaching out.

[jkl5500]

Your fears are not completely irrational. I'm sure a school shooting terrifies all parents. But these incidents are very rare. Yes, one is way too many. But think of all the other parents in your community who send their kids off to school. You know they love their kids as much as you love yours. But they do send them off to school everyday. Maybe this will give you a little perspective.

As for your husband, I assume that he wasn't born in the US. All I can suggest is that you see an attorney about this matter. I'm not a lawyer, but it seems kind of extreme for him to have to leave the country for several months in order to clear this up. (I assume that he's here legally to begin with. If not, well, that's different.)