Stress and anxiety coping???

[Optimistic_22]

Have been suffering with anxiety and stress. Current situation recently lost fiancé , work full time , back to school and a beautiful son to take care of. Would like some positive ways to cope. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Nikky_c33]

Things that help me are taking nice hot baths, using essential oils, and writing in my journal. This might sound weird but if I start stressing about something I can’t control I will force myself to move onto another thought and do everything I can to distract myself from it so the nervous thoughts don’t hold power over me. Then at some point in the day maybe I’ll give those thoughts 30min or so to fill my head but then move on. My counselor taught me this and it helps me🤷🏻‍♀️

Hope this helps at least a little!

[Optimistic_22 in reply to Nikky_c33]

Thank You 😊. Yes anything helps I appreciate it. Currently not seeing a counselor. Need to find one mine relocated .

[BeenthereB4]

Hi Optimistic22, I like your posts to others. You are very kind and honest and provide helpful feedback. I am very sorry you have had to experience such loss and pain so early in your life. Anyone would be honored to know you still think of them and wonder how to move on. I think we all would like to have an impact on another so much so that it makes a lasting impression on their lives. It sounds like your fiancé was a pretty terrific person - you have to give them credit for this and for choosing you out of everyone in the world to spend their time with. That makes you a pretty terrific person too! I have not experienced such loss as yours but due to the nature of my profession I routinely lose people I devote my whole being too to make the last few years of their life as enjoyable as possible only to have them taken from me without a proper good bye. My advice is not an answer but may be helpful to process the way I perceive the world... What helps me to persevere with my work is this. I do not linger on the moment of loss but honor the life and time we had to spend with each other and the influence they had in my life and be thankful to them for allowing me to be a part of their life. I rationalize it as I would have rather known and lost the person than to have never known the person to begin with. I recognize all of the attributes that were great about the person and share this with others -as this is something I would like others to do for me.

I consider how I would like to be remembered and what others should do in response to my passing and once I am gone I would like others to remember me with a picture or two, reference me in jokes, and stories at times and focus on the positive only, but move on. We made the best of our time together and each played our role in the relationship. The history that existed will always be there and nothing can ever take that away. I believe that people come into our lives to serve a purpose and teach us or give us something that we need in that moment before they leave us- to linger on the last days and not acknowledge the whole time or the purpose of the relationship would be to miss the big picture of life.

I wish you the strength and courage to acknowledge all of the positive that came from the relationship and be thankful for what you were given and what your were able to provide.

Your son needs you to be strong, insightful, and compassionate. You can be the role model that he forever looks up and turns to for the rest of his life!

[Optimistic_22 in reply to BeenthereB4]

Thank You so much for your kind words. In all this I haven't been dealing with fully and this is a great way to look at. My biggest problem with his death was not saying goodbye and pain I fell in missing him. But there is great comfort in thinking on positive impact he had on my life and our sons , everyone he meet. He was suffering with muscular dystrophy melas, depression and anxiety for a long time. I just hope time will heal the pain. Very grateful for your words. I find myself busy with life and often not dealing with his death. Very grateful again beyond words to have this perspective on. Thank You again.