Log in
Anxiety and Depression Support
23,750 members22,193 posts

How does one "work at it" and just "force yourself self to do things"

I usually don't have the motivation to get off the couch (unless I have to use the bathroom or I want/need food) let alone force my self to do stuff I have absolutely no motivation or desire to do.

My mom just says "you just have to make your do things". I say "How?" And she said "You just have to do it. It's different for everybody."

Wow, so helpful.


6 Replies

Pick one small thing, like go for a walk or to the store and get up and do it. I know it is hard to motivate yourself when you don't feel like doing anything. I also know it is easier said than done, but if you do one small thing you will feel better about yourself. Any journey starts with one step.

1 like

I get this. I had a bit of a burn out and for 2 months couldn't move off the sofa - in fact sometimes i didn't make it onto the sofa for staying in bed. It's so rough because it seems like every one is starting their sentences with 'just' and (for me anyway) it was no small thing.

I tried to start small - like set myself one thing that i wanted to achieve, maybe like a little walk or coffee with a friend. To be honest, at first I didn't hit the goals at all but I am starting to get there now. I still find it demotivating when my brother criticises me for not coming far enough or not pushing myself enough. But you know - it's a step by step process.

Is there something small you could start with?

1 like

I'm not sure what I could do. I can't drive and don't have a reliable way to town.

I mean I guess I could try walking, but I just feel so awkward when I'm by myself.


A walk could be good - but don't feel pressure that you need to get outside. Honestly, for me I just needed to get myself of the sofa - so I just tried little things, like baking, or going round to my neighbours house. You can build it up as works for you. There's no pressure to follow a formula :)

1 like

Take baby steps, Mooolly. Step outside, take a deep breath, inhale, exhale.

Yes, it takes a lot of effort to get up, but set the goal and keep trying. You can do it.


I know this is an older post, but I've been recently thinking about this as well. I haven't used this site in a while because telling my mom about what's been going on with me actually helped. I never imagined that I ever would tell anyone and trust me, this relates to your question.

Before I told her (and before I do most big decisions) there was just this constant nagging voice in my head just saying "Just do it, now, now, now. Why haven't you said it yet? Just get it over with!" And it would soon switch sides to the darker view point of "You'll never tell her, she doesn't want to hear it. Now's not the time." With this constant fight in my head I would start to open my mouth to say something and then stop, confused at which voice was truly helping me. But then I just did it and I was surprised when I did. You just have to do it one word at a time. It was like throwing up all of my thoughts. If it's not a speaking action that you need to complete then just take it one step at a time. Force yourself to say "Well, we've gone this far, might as well finish it." Hope this helps, just how my mind works I guess.

Just remember, this helps ME. It may not help you or anyone else, but if there's a shot that it can help you then I'd give it a try.


You may also like...