Anxious; Party of One

[AmandaLynn427]

Hi guys, i'm not too sure if anyone will really see this. But I suppose it'll help a little to vent out. I've been battling severe anxiety and depression for most of my adult life. The anxiety moreso than the depression lately. It seems to be taking a toll on my job and overall life. It goes into a vicious cycle of me getting a job - loving it the first couple of days - and then I get FLOODED with anxiety that someone out there can do a better job than I can at that job. I freak myself out and don't go back to that place ever again. It's happened at least three times.

The other issue is my age. In regards to the job part, I built this structure in my mind that I need to have a career for my family whenever I have one. A 25-year old woman needs a career and a family in my mind. I have my husband who is 100% supportive and understanding of everything I go through and I can't thank him enough. It's just the part of my head that wants this career for myself and to make these goals happen. But when they come remotely close to that, I freak. I just started a new job a couple of days ago and I'm almost reaching that point once again and am REALLY fighting against it this time. It's just getting harder and harder as the days go on.

Someone please say that they've experienced this as well, and not make me feel alone about this situation hahah.

Thanks, Amanda.

[GM1954]

I went through about the same thing. Do not over think, and remember you are a capable person.

[AmandaLynn427 in reply to GM1954]

Thank you for your response; I truly appreciate the advice and am working at it hard. Days like this it feels like I was okay for a bit then hit by a wrecking ball of anxiety.

[Katzenjammer82]

I went through the same thing. I went through a rough transition last year. Moved to a new city and started a new job. I would over think and quit the job after a few days or weeks. I went through 7 jobs! My anxiety was so severe that by September I was admitted to the mental health facility for a week followed by 6 weeks of intensive outpatient therapy 5 days a week 8 hours a day.

I did not have any confidence or coping skills.

If you don’t have a therapist I do recommend finding one.

I now have had the same job since early November and I really like my job.

[AmandaLynn427 in reply to Katzenjammer82]

Thanks so much for your reply! I honestly did not think I would get a response so quickly and it really helps to know there's others like me out there with similar issues. I've always had part time jobs and recently I got a full time job with benefits and everything. I initially was so excited to finally get my life back on track financially and then it's like I ran into this wall and am so scared to go forward.

Also, seeing that you're still currently at the job that you love, I'm guessing therapy was of great help to you ? I've been nervous about seeing a therapist - I know they deal with anxiety however I almost felt like my issue was silly compared to others. However, my husband says that my issue is a lot more severe than I'm thinking and do need to get some additional support.