Friday... I braved the mall. My family needed to do some shopping and after many hours and a lot of pushing, I went. I told myself to say yes and then only concentrate on getting into the truck and not on my scary destination. I had 3 mini panic moments on the hour long drive. When we got to the mall I was shaking like I was shivering. Just concentrated on getting to the door of the store. The split second I walked in ... the world hit me like a ton of bricks and my head rushed, I could feel my eyes being wide, and legs almost gave out. I thought for sure I was going to faint - somehow I didn’t. I almost fainted 3 times throughout shopping and I stumbled backwards and my husband saw. He looked terrified as I caught myself from falling thanks to the stores display. I couldn’t think clear enough to shop but I was present at least. I know I’m dehaydrated and I am not eating anywhere near enough ... been that way for a month now... so I was and am extremely weak.
Diff note: I found an office w a psychiatrist willing to take me on as a new patient even though they are full. I am currently waiting for them to call w appointment info.
Today I feel right on the line between anxiety and panic. If one thing bad happens .. I’m going to have a panic attack. I know myself well enough to be able to identify that to a “T”. Taking it easy for a few days because if I hit panic mode it’ll undo all my progress from the past week.