Hi all. I decided to reach out to a community when I started getting panic attacks at work. I entered my PhD program about a year and a half ago and that is when I started feeling anxious and having panic attacks. I have had minor anxiety in the past and I had a panic attack or two when I was in college, but thought that was normal. Finals suck. So when I started my PhD, I thought it was normal to be freaking out. My job is high pressure and high impact, so the responsibility is constantly in my face. I work with not so nice, ambitious people and some of my work can be very tedious and boring. However, the big picture stuff is what I want to do. I love the projects I made for myself, I love the school, I love the community I found outside of my department but I can't transfer. If I want to, I would have to reapply and it would be unlikely that someone would take me. So I want to stay but I don't want to feel this way. I'm currently on med leave because of the anxiety. I had started fainting and having some memory loss. It just got so bad.
Does anyone have any tips for getting through this until I complete my first projects/masters? I can master out or decide to stay. Its hard to choose between my dreams and my health. I wish I could find a way to choose both.