I was divorced when my husband died.

Yes I was there when my husband called me to have me be there when he died. I married at 17 before he was drafted. He cheated and abused me but because of my insecurities he used that against me. After 20 years, he went to work and I took my son and left. I had nothing cause I was not allowed to work, When I had family, when he died, they all thought I was nuts to go to him. I really needed to do that and so did he. He wanted me to forgive him and said I was the perfect wife and mother. Not sure why I needed to hear that but it was good. I told him I was so mad cause we were to grow old together and he ruined that. He got what he wanted....5 days later he died in my arms as he wanted. He was 53 and died of lung cancer. Funny but as mean as he was to me, there are still times I think of him when I hear certain songs. Music means so much to me and so many have such meaning.

[Lostjoy]

Your situation sounds like a tough one. Has this caused you to have anxiety and depression?

[Hidden in reply to Lostjoy]

No I believe I was so insecure that I let him control me. My main issues came when I was 9 and gang raped.