Please Help

[Minileah1218]

Just realized I’m gonna have to actually INTERACT w ppl when I go to college in few months . I’m so upset & suicidal again . I feel like everyone around me is walking on eggshells bc of how fast I snap into “I wanna die” mode . Idk what to do . I just want everything to STOP 😭 I find myself crying so much I’m dehydrated constantly or feeling like I’ll get sick . I hate everything , including myself . My social anxiety keeps getting worse as the days pass & idk how to get rid of it . Ugh I just want help . I wish I could LIVE IN THERAPY . It’s my only safe place . I consider my mom taking me to a mental hospital quite often now bc I can’t get a hold of my pain . Someone help me ... please .

[HearYou]

If you don't attend school, what would you like to do to prepare to support yourself one day? If your anxiety is so bad that you are already going to the "I want to die" stage, is attending school reasonable? Hope you do go tomorrow in spite of your fear of anxiety kicking in big time. If you can make it one day, then maybe the next day may come easier. One day at a time. One day at a time. One day a time. Then it's the weekend, no classes. Then back to another time, one day at a time. Some others in this venue made it through anxiety just like that. Ok? Remember you have thousands of people behind you are waiting to hear about your first day. We are here, and you can do this.

[Sarah_brarian in reply to HearYou]

I couldn't agree more. This may be a better time to focus on taking care of yourself rather than college aspirations. Trust me, I'm a college graduate and a librarian. I take education very seriously. Something that is vastly more important, however, is your life. College will always be there for you to return to. You only have this one life. I know things are scary right now but you will get through this.

When I was in college, my agoraphobia got so bad that I paid extra for a room to myself. It was a room I didn't leave for a month. My grades suffered and so did I. It wasn't until I started taking care of myself that I was able to take school seriously. It took me 5 years to complete a 4 year degree but I know that forcing myself would have been so much worse.

You can do this. You are in the exact right place, searching for help is the first step to recovery. We are here for you.

[Minileah1218 in reply to Sarah_brarian]

Thank you guys so much . I love hearing your stories . It helps me feel better a lot .

[Sarah_brarian in reply to Minileah1218]

You are never alone. We're all just a message away.