I've suffered from depression for 5 years now, why can't I heal?

[angelaaa31]

For the past 5 years I've been having depression relapses on and off. Right now all I feel like doing is crying and I don't know why, I'm in so much pain all the time but I try to hide it as best as I can for the sake of those around me. I can't take it anymore, why do my relapses keep on happening? My last relapse started in December and it's becoming worse and worse. There's so much pain in me, why won't it heal? I took psych medication from 2015-2016 and I don't want to go back. I'm trying my best to keep myself together.

[rsaah1107]

I know just how you feel. It’s so confusing when you have days that are so happy and you want to get outside and go somewhere and enjoy life.. then weeks of wanting to curl up in a ball and just hide from the world.

[Sprinkle1]

Let me tell you from a fellow sufferer, I went thru those spells, finally I got wise and found a good psychiatrist, he discovered I had built up a tolerance to my antidepressant, and that I am Bi-polar 11, so he put me on lithium and thyroid med's. Did well for 10 years til I built up tolerance again to antidepressant. I would search out a psychiatrist who specializes in depression. Our brain in the amygdala is not firing properly and probably never will. I have resigned myself to stay on med's if that is what is going to keep me sane. I wish you well, search out all the info. you can get. We are a bit like diabetics, or people with heart disease we need med's to keep us well. I send you love & Hugs. Sprinkle 1. xx oo