For the past 5 years I've been having depression relapses on and off. Right now all I feel like doing is crying and I don't know why, I'm in so much pain all the time but I try to hide it as best as I can for the sake of those around me. I can't take it anymore, why do my relapses keep on happening? My last relapse started in December and it's becoming worse and worse. There's so much pain in me, why won't it heal? I took psych medication from 2015-2016 and I don't want to go back. I'm trying my best to keep myself together.