Coming Out

[StruggleBusSAHM]

I think it’s time to tell my husband the details of how I am feeling. This cloud isn’t moving fast. My problem is that everytime I even think about saying these words out loud I just start crying. I’m also really terrible at talking about my depression then you add the sobbing and it drowns out the words. Any suggestions?

[Hidden]

Just let it out!!!! Tears and sobs and all. Don’t hold it in!!!! Once you let it out it may help you a bit.

[Sushi33]

Its ok if you cry and its also ok if he seems confused or very concerned. I'm sure he has noticed something is wrong and part of his job as your partner is to offer support. But also keep in mind you might have to tell him what you need. My husband used to try to "fix" whatever was bothering me, but most of the time I didn't want him to fix it I just wanted him to listen. So don't be surprised if he doesn't know how to help in the beginning, but sharing what you are going through can help you process and work through some of it. When we get stuck in our own heads (speaking from experience) we tend to spiral out of control and not get very far. Sharing our pain and seeking support from those who care and understand can do amazing things to improve our situations.

[Hidden]

Your husband will be understanding towards you. Tell him how you feel even if you do cry, he will be there to hold and console you.

[claire0410]

Go ahead and cry - get the words out when you can. It's very hard to explain to someone who hasn't had the kinds of feelings that we experience to get them to understand. I don't know if my husband understands now, but he supports me in any way he can. It sometimes is just hugging me and letting me cry. I think he finally realized that sometimes there is nothing he can do to make me feel better other than just being there and telling me he loves me no matter what. Just know that sometimes he will say the wrong thing simply because he is scared for you and doesn't know what to do to help you. I finally figured out that if the tables were turned, I would be scared and frustrated as well because I couldn't stand to see him feel so bad and know that there wasn't much I could do to take his pain away. It's just as hard on those who love us to see us suffer.

[Forestina]

Maybe it would help both you and him if you were to write it down.

[Windy101]

I'm with the others. Tell him and if you cry, that's okay. Tears are just an expression of your feelings and will help communicate to him the rough time you're going through. Best wishes to you in sharing with him exactly how you're feeling.