Anxiety/delusion?

[AnxiousGirl678]

Got into an argument with my husband. Started to wonder if I'm dilusional one as he's questioned at times when not getting along vwith his family etc. I think he's been suspicious lately but he says it's insulting. Used to think I was just away from family needing family feeling alone. Can my anxiety be doing this to me?

[AnxiousGirl678]

Sorry. I'm new on here. I do have anxiety and it's tough being around my husband's family at times. There are triggers there for me. I just want to feel accepted by my husband and his family the way I am. Lately I've worried for my marriage and if it might not work out. Arguements with my spouse have always seemed like I'm the one that needs to change for it to work. Lately it has seemed to me that I'm needing to be suspicious of a possible relationship my husband might be having. I'm threatened by his phone want to know what's going on on it. He noticed, as he says "micro managing" behaviors in me. Yes I worry we don't work out and that maybe there's something I don't know. Just wondering if anxiety will make me feel/think this way when nothing may be going on? I don't have family around and my husband is in his MBA program. I have felt alone a lot and my husband is my only support but he works full time and goes to school. And I take care of our 4 children.

[Hidden in reply to AnxiousGirl678]

AnxiousGirl, I completely understand how you feel. For me, my anxiety causes me to feel like I'm unworthy and I'm a terrible wife, which can lead me to being overly sensitive and on edge with my husband at times, which inevitably leads to arguments. It doesn't help that he's working full-time as an attorney and he's already really stressed out as it is.

I don't exhibit the "micromanaging" behaviors so much, but anxiety can definitely leave a person feeling paranoid, nervous and unnecessarily alert. It's easy to speculate on this objectively when I'm not feeling anxious, but I'm sure you know as well as I do that in the heat of the moment when you're feeling completely overwhelmed with anxiety, logic and reasoning goes out the window!

You should have a conversation with your husband and try to explain as best you can what you're feeling and what you're going through. Perhaps shining some light on your anxiety can help him understand what's going on and he can help ease some of your worries.

[AnxiousGirl678]

I have a great need for family since mine lives 1300mi away however his family is not close so it's hard for me that they are not ones to try to connect or spend time together nor are they of any support for me so I have felt alone. I keep hoping things will change but it is what it is. I have learned to find a few friends as family substitutes. My therapists have said mom in law is narcissistic and toxic in my counseling sessions. My husband grew up in her family and a kid from divorced family at 8 yrs old had to deal on his own. There's damage there. He has some depression and currently on meds. He hasn't been open or vulnerable in over a decade plus of marriage. He found a chat group supposed for depression and for him to learn to be open and vulnerable before he can do that with me where "stakes are higher" . But i feel he's not given me that chance of openess and fear he'll open up to females and make bonds connections with other women that may turn into a relationship emotionally or even more. He has opened up to me since thanksgiving and we've had some good communication and time together in the last bit but I think he's chatting with a woman and is hard to not worry for my marriage. I even lost 7.4 lbs in one week a week ago. Our sex life is the best it's ever been. I'm loving him despite my suspicions. I hope he moves away from whatever it is if there is something going on. I am doing the best I can do for our marriage. He felt this chat let's him to be him and he's seen he can be liked for him. He worries not being liked and especially by me if I know stuff about him even if his past growing up etc. He has mentioned a thing or 2. It was hard him telling me he went on meds 2-3 months ago.