Men with Depression

[Dahveed323]

Depression is so debilitating, but it seems especially so for men. All around me I'm surrounded with social pressures to be strong, when depression makes me weak. Can anyone relate?

[Vrt14]

I'm a female so I can't relate for real but I completely agree. Men are more reluctant to ask for help so they end up abusing drugs and alcohol more often. Please hang in there! Get a dog if you cannot find friends and go do things on your own, trips, hiking, photography. Actually I wish I was a man so I can do many more things alone.

[hypercat54 in reply to Vrt14]

I agree Vrt14. I would love it to be as socially acceptable and safe to be able to do what a man can, even in this day and age.

The downside of course for men is that they have more options for self treatment so they can avoid asking for help from medical professionals.

Dahveed I quite understand what you are saying but you need to fight that male ego, and realise that actually seeking help when you need it is a sign of strength not of weakness. Try and see it like this.

No one else has to know apart from the doctor after all. x

[Dahveed323 in reply to hypercat54]

Thanks. Something I am working on is being more self-aware, and acknowledging my depression and embracing it can sometimes be helpful for me. I appreciate the reminder you gave me that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes I just need to keep reminding myself that.

[hypercat54 in reply to Dahveed323]

Remind yourself too that if you broke your leg and sought treatment would that make you weak as well? Or would you soldier on being 'strong'? Depression also has physical symptoms which can be very distressing. x

[Dahveed323 in reply to hypercat54]

Thanks. I'm beginning to learn the value of taking care of my mental health. Taking time to get well has become something very important for me.

[Dahveed323 in reply to Vrt14]

Thanks for the support! I appreciate it a lot.

[Sprinkle1]

Yes I understand your position that society puts you in. I say find help, talk to your Dr. if he/she is receptive, talk with a therapist and or a psychiatrist, there is no need for you to suffer. You are NOT weak just ill, your amygdala is miss behaving and you need help to get it back in line. I am also a female, I suffer with depression, have for years off/on, Dr. has always managed to get me out of it. So do not give up, try and find a men's support group I think that would help you. Go on line, lots of stuff there. Get info. at your local library. I am with you, I support you, send you strength, love and energy. Sprinkle 1

PS let us know how you do, and ask us for help.

[Dahveed323 in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thanks for your support! I appreciate your encouragement.

[tiredbbygirl]

im a female but i understand how debilitating it is and im so sorry for the stigma that men have to be strong and macho 24/7 youre a human with feelings and its completely okay. have you sought out any therapy for your depression?

[Dahveed323 in reply to tiredbbygirl]

Yes, I've been on medication for about a year now, and I'm just starting counseling sessions. The counselors are so warm and understanding, and I am so glad that I have someone to talk to.

[wildwolfx]

As a 20 year old man with depression and anxiety I 100% agree with you. It's hard out here when there is social pressures about men my age and older to be strong and confident when most of us are going through what we are going through now.

[The_Alchemist-]

of course. This life can be difficult at times. Our community binds us in social norms, and to step outside of our roles finds us in contempt of social morays. It is so relieving to find a group of people that are accepting of you. I like to speak of my emotions, cry, and be tender. You're in good company.

[Afraidmale]

I'm a male and yes it's hard as hell I haven't been to work in 6 months because of it. I can't stand it it's driving me nuts..

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

Getting out of bed can be so hard sometimes...

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

Yes it is. I think my biggest problemis I don't have the support around me that I need. My wife get mad at me when I'm going through hard time which just makes it worse.

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

That's really tough. Again, with the stigma, men are "supposed to be tough and not emotional", which is a misunderstanding that our society has sadly upheld. Breaking the vicious cycle of depression also involves doing things that are good for you, which are not necessarily the easiest things to do when you don't feel like doing anything. Seeking support is tough too, because depression causes people to withdraw from social situations, rather than open up. I'm grateful for this forum, where we don't have to feel like we are alone.

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

I held some much in for so many years because I'm supposedto be tough but we have feels just like the women and we hurt and we want to cry just as they do I've been learning that it's ok to cry and to have feelings because I would never cry and diffently not in front of my family but now I let it go when I need to I don't hold it in anymore.. It's been a long time for me and all I want is my life back I want to work I want to hang out with my friends but at the same time it's hard but I'm not giving up hope.

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

Amen, brother. What was life like before you had depression?

[Hidden in reply to Dahveed323]

Im 42 male..I've learned to let go of this male ego and not make it harder for myself so I express my feelings.g et it out..I cry, I'm weak, depressed, hopeless etc I admit it..but my point is we are human too..Just think of yourself for now and work on getting better..it's ok to feel like this..striving for a better you, male or female..you only have to answer to yourself..

[Dahveed323 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to hear from someone who is older. I appreciate your insight.

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

Life before this was great i could go and do anything and everything that I wanted now it's way different. What about you?

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

Very much the same. I often fall into the trap of comparing my current self with my former self, and that in and of itself can be depressing. I was able to take on heavy class loads, take part in musical groups, run cross-country, and run on 6 hours of sleep on a regular basis. Life seems to have caught up with me in recent years, though.

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

Where u from?

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

NC. U?

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

Ohio,

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

Neat.

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

How are you are u married have kids what's your live like?

[Afraidmale in reply to Afraidmale]

How old I ment

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

I'm 28, married with two kids. I teach middle school music and chorus. Excited for winter break!

[Dahveed323 in reply to Dahveed323]

How about you? Same question.

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

I'm 36 birthday today actually I'm married and have 4 kids got laid off from work 6 months ago and just been home doing the stay at home deal which isn't to bad but would like to get back to work sometime if i can mange it. I won't have no choice soon when my unemployment runs out. But ya that's about it for me just living the dream.

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

Happy Birthday! How old are your kids?

[Afraidmale]

My son is 10 my daughter 6 my other daughter is 4 and my step daughter is 18. What about you? My kids are the high light of my life they keep me going and all I want is too be back to being the father I use to be.

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

My son is 4 and my daughter is two. My kids are the best, and I love to watch them grow. I know when I start yelling at them that I have to withdraw and go lie down, because I don't want to treat them like that.

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

I totally understand i came from a abusive home and I try not to yell at my kids but it's hard I don't want my kids to live how I had to it makes it hard between my wife and I because I let a lot go. She doesn't understand because didn't have to ever live like I did when I was younger. It's hard life is hard when all I want is to be happy and have a great family things get in the way of that all the time. Whats your name mines Matt?

[Afraidmale in reply to Afraidmale]

What medicine are you on if i may ask I just seen that you been on it for a year is that right? How's all of that going including counseling?

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

My name is David. I'm on Celexa, but I'm in the process of switching to Wellbutrin. Celexa worked well for me until I stopped taking it. I learned my lesson the hard way: Never stop taking your meds! Also, counseling is wonderful. I feel like my load is lighter every time I go, and I've only been twice. Building a support system is proving to be vital for me.

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

Be careful of switching meds that's what I just did 6 months ago that made me go through this just saying not everyone is the same but just wanted to let u know.

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

I'm on Zoloft Been on it for 10 years and I still have problems. I changed up my meds and then all hell broke loose.

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

Thanks for the heads up. I feel like this app is doing wonders for me. I mean, now I'm surrounded by a community of people who can relate to me. I got up with my wife for the past two mornings to work out, and I've felt great. And here on HealthUnlocked, I've felt such a strong connection with people, that I haven't felt in a long time. Especially because I'm an introvert and keep to myself a lot.

[Afraidmale in reply to Dahveed323]

No problem I'm here to help as much as I can. I don't work out or nothing but would like to but with everything going on I just don't want to. So I've had a lot of test done and the only thing they found was that I have low testosterone and I'm on a gel to help get my levels up and it's been a month of treatment thought I would feel some better on it but don't notice that much of a change. Have you ever done a test called genesight?

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

No, I've never heard of that. What's that?

[Afraidmale]

It's a test to help find what medications break down the best in your body and it tells you what medication will have the less side effects on you and it also tells you what medications is the best for you too take for what ever you have.

[Dahveed323 in reply to Afraidmale]

Neat. That's very useful, because there will be less trial and error.

[Afraidmale]

Exactly..Just something I wanted to share I highly recommend it.