Need some urgent advice

[onelittlerose]

I have so much to say, so an apology for the length of this post. My anxiety has spiked an INSANE amount this week, and I find myself constantly all over the place as far as emotions and PTSD flashbacks go. At school I've been consistently having to leave class for the counselor because the stress becomes too much- even minor tasks are almost impossible. I've been losing my patience with my friends and loved ones very easily, things as simple as a phone or computer glitch can cause me to need to take upwards of ten minutes to get myself calm again. I'm in an intensive acting program that I'm dropping at the end of the semester, but despite this, I'm still feeling incredibly anxious.

For those who suffer with this type of anxiety, depression and/or PTSD I need advice on how to care for a significant other that doesn't have my conditions but that comes head to head with them often. I have an incredible boyfriend, the most tolerant, sweet man ever, but I'm concerned that it's affecting his daily life just worrying about me. Is there any kind of resource I can give him, any advice, any help of any kind to help him manage through the things I'm going through? I know his biggest stressor is not knowing what to do when I'm crying or having an attack, or just feeling stressed and not knowing why. I'd like for him to feel like he knows what to do, and if confident enough that he doesn't need to worry, and one of my huge priorities is getting him there.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

The worse I am the worse my husband becomes except he blames me and is not nice about it. He says he drinks that’s his medicine for stress like me taking an antidepressant. I had surgery Tuesday. My 70 year old mom took me. When he got home I was in severe pain. Well, I now ruined his day because I hurt after having surgery on my back. I am losing all compassion for his feelings. It sounds like you have a good one! Communication is key. I think the more he knows the less anxiety he will have. I explained to me husband I don’t need you to fix it. I just need you to hold my hand and tell me it will be okay or just listen. Men are taught if something is broke they’re supposed to fix it. Make sure he knows the expectations you have for him. Make sure he knows he can only help you and that it isn’t because of him. On the page I found this group there were groups for caregivers of people with anxiety, depression, ptsd, alcoholism etc. My anxiety is worse with my husband now. Telling him did not help. He’s an alcoholic but that’s not my fault even though I feel like it when he tells me it is. I have learned to try to internalize everything so I don’t set him off but it’s killing me! Your man sounds like a dream. Do you journal? Let him read one so he can understand how you feel. He could also see a counselor. Joint counseling too. Just make sure he is actually as upset or troubled by it as you are. I’m constantly being told things I’m anxious about aren’t even important. Obviously it’s important to me at the time but sometimes after the fact I realize I overreacted. Maybe misjudged the situation. The way you are saying you feel or are acting is exactly how I was when I forgot to put one of my pills in my daily pill case. Go over your meds etc. Make sure you want to quit your class. Be careful not to let temporary situations affect permanent outcomes. Best of luck! Sounds like you have a great support system. I wish I did. I do love having someone who is removed from the situation to talk to that’s why I looked up this group. I hope something can help you. Just like this group if he needs it there are groups for him as a caregiver too.

[onelittlerose in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

He's a wonderful man, and I do indeed journal- he reads them every day, and he's made an account on here so he can keep up to date with how I'm feeling. I'm so lucky to have him- I just wish life was easier, not so much for me but for him.And I'm so sorry to hear about yours- I wish you all the strength and courage in the world <3

[sheila1kerry]

I think it is really sweet that you are so concerned about your partner and how he is coping. You sound like an amazing young woman and it is disgusting that you have had to suffer because of someones lack of control. You need to talk to someone who specialises in this area. This person has taken enough from you, please don't let this scum take anymore, reach out for help and take your power back.

You are a beautiful young woman and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't let one imbecile destroy things.

❤️