Lost

My husband was very abusive to me and I let him get in my head so much that it led me to suicidal thoughts. Now my family seems like they don’t care they have been pushing every ounce of me and just love to use and abuse me. I feel like I can’t talk around anyone I have no voice. I can’t sleep bc I have nightmares either about everyone around me or that I will loose my job bc I’m not educated enough or something bad happens to some one I love. Then I wake up even more depressed than I was before. Maybe I’m too broken to heal or just not worthy of Gods forgiveness to heal but I’m alone and Hating myself all over again. I refuse to go back to hospital bc I can’t afford these types of bills again. Idk what to do

[pinnk812]

I’m sorry your husband hurt you like that. It hurts my heart reading it. You do have a voice. You posted this and wrote exactly how you felt and why. It might not have been verbally but you took the time to write it down. That’s a start! I’m lost too :/ I don’t know exactly what I’m doing with my life but I just keep going maybe eventually I will understand why. Always stay positive. Are you still with your husband? I don’t think thats a healthy relationship that’s not normal for someone else to cause someone’s suicidal thoughts. I am not here to judge if you are. Maybe start there. <3

[Agora1]

Hi Naty031414, being put down emotionally in making you feel as if you have no voice, no choices is one of the cruelest forms of mental abuse. Worse in some ways than physical because the scars can't be seen. They are held in our minds and chip away at our self esteem and core of our being. No one deserves to be treated in this way. No one. It is a coward's way of making himself feel better by being in charge of another person's life. Families are notorious in knowing how to push our buttons, what brings us to breaking point.

Whether you still live with your husband or not, getting therapy in Self Esteem and Confidence building will help your emotional state greatly. You will learn to become thick skinned. The abuse will slip right over you. You will literally be causing the anxiety and hurt to float right past you. Walk away when you feel the abuse start. As for family, stand up to them. Just as "No" means "No" so does your saying this is your life and you will live it for yourself and no one else.

We are never too broken or too old to be fixed. Do a turn around, you are never alone. Start with loving who you are deep inside. Don't allow anyone to stifle that. Grow with confidence through the help of a therapist who will start you on the road to recovery. Make your goal being "found" again , never again to be lost. I support you 100%.. xx

[Sprinkle1]

I love Agora1 reply to you. Mental abuse is criminal in my books, but you can walk away from it and you must. Get the help of a good therapist and find a support group, they are invaluable.Come and talk to us we will do all we can to support you. And you start by doing something nice everyday for You. If you think you are depressed talk to your Dr. he can put you on an antidepressant if needed. I send you strength and power. also Love & Peace. Sprinkle 1.