Living two lives

[LadyByrne]

I am a mixed bipolar with sever anxiety. And recently due to cost I had to give up on my Latuda which was wonderful. I was happy, I was able to function, and I was living.

Now we are playing ring around the medicines trying to find me something that will bring me back into the light.

I dont want to be a wife, I dont want to be a mother, all I want to do is stay curled up in bed under my blankets and sleep.

But this is not an option so I take care of my son and try to be active in play and learning. I act the part of wife by doing things like going to business dinners.

But all I can think about is cutting again, fighting off the anxieties that come with the thought of leaving the house, and how I do not have anyone who understands my battles that are going on inside my head.

[Hidden]

I can't understand, I know what it feels, I don't cut myself, but I mental destroyed. But I wish that your son could be a hope for you. Think of him. I'm not a mother so I can not judge you. And I know what it feels to have awful battles in your head. But try to distract your mind with art, with something else that keeps you out of that thoughts. Try to do it for your son.

[KulaVanisher]

"back into the light" once there was but darkness.. light is the intruder. taking over our solar system