Thinking that I don't deserve to eat

[Steph2293]

Thought like this are always in my mind. I just feel like I don't deserve to eat. Like I don't have right. I didn't earnt it. And with that thought, I end up having no appetite and I don't eat a thing.

Is this normal for a person with depression?

[Lostjoy]

Your the first person I've found to feel like this except me. If I don't take anxiety meds I can't eat. I feel like I don't have that right. I have to get off of the anxiety meds for work, and I'm scared that I am going to lose weight again.

How long have you felt like this.

[Steph2293 in reply to Lostjoy]

I feel very relieved because I was thinking that I'm going crazy.

I'm feeling like this for about month or more I think. But this is in the worst scenario. All my life I felt that I have to earn it but now is worst.

What anxiety meds are you taking?

[Lostjoy in reply to Steph2293]

I have a prescription for clonazepam, and I had some Xanax left over from a few years back that I dug out. I had an episode about 2 years ago that didn't last that long, so I didn't take all of the Xanax. Since then my Dr moved away and my new dr won't prescribe any anxiety meds. She was on vacation and her fill in gave me the clonazepam which helps with my appetite, and sleep. They are both addicting meds, so I try my best not to take them. It's been 6 months this time, and I'm just now starting to get better without taking the meds everyday.

Have you been seen by a dr?

[Steph2293 in reply to Lostjoy]

Yes, I was taking sertralina and clonazepan but my family found out and the prohibited me to take any antidepressives.

[Lostjoy in reply to Steph2293]

Did they tell you why?

[Steph2293 in reply to Lostjoy]

They said I didn't need that.

Terapy was the same.

[Lostjoy in reply to Steph2293]

That's tough. Therapy takes a lot of time and work before you start to see results. In the meantime you need to be able to eat. Was the meds helping when you were taking them. Antidepressants don't work for me, only the anxiety meds do.

[Kainan]

Hi. I was doing the same thing when I was depressed. I didn't feel I deserved it. But if we don't eat, how are we supposed to function? I didn't eat and it was horrible as I was becoming increasingly lethargic and dizzy. Low blood sugar is a serious thing and it's only going to exacerbate the depression. I hope you're able to consistently get some food in your stomach.

[Lostjoy in reply to Kainan]

I agree it is very unhealthy, and can cause serious problems.

[Windy101]

I've lost my appetite, but never thought I didn't deserve to eat. You need food. Please get medical help right away. Have you lost a lot of weight?

[pipco in reply to Windy101]

Not everyone can afford that. I don't deserve food, why would I deserve the $ it will cost to see a Dr? That only takes away from my family who actually DO need it.

[Windy101 in reply to pipco]

I don't know where you live, but in the U.S. you can get Medicaid if your family income is that low, which offers free appointments and medication. If you don't want to eat, that is your right, of course.

[pipco in reply to Windy101]

My husband works, and makes just enough that im NOT sure I qualify, but I DID get my application for my state health assistance plan, and I'm calling next week to check on it.

It's not that I don't WANT to eat, I just don't DO anything to earn the right. There's so much energy required for the simplest things that none of it is worth it. Gotta save that energy for when husband comes home and wants to interact.

[Windy101 in reply to pipco]

I hear you, pipco. But I'm sure you know that food = calories = energy. You don't have to deserve to eat; it is a basic human need. I know that it seems I'm arguing, but I care and am concerned. Good luck with your application, and I hope everything works out how you want it to. I'll back off now.

[pipco in reply to Windy101]

I understand, and it IS illogical, but it doesn't change the feeling...

[Karenk2]

I go the other way, I eat mostly junk and have gained a bunch of weight since I was laid off almost 3 yrs ago.

[BMari]

I was searching and I found this thread. I thought I was the only only one who feels this way. Yesterday, I made a sandwich and I felt so guilty. I looked at the plate and cried. I feel like I didn't deserve to eat. Like it's not my right at all.

I'm at a point where I'm broke and I can't move in any direction without spending money that I don't have. I'm currently feeling hunger pangs and I don't want to touch the fridge. My mom is awesome and stocks the fridge with the little bit of money she does have, but I haven't been able to contribute anything because I don't make enough. I feel useless and, about myself in my head, that useless people don't need to eat.

[Steph2293]

I found myself always thinking like that...I think one day Imay lose it and don't eat a thing because -same as you- I don't feel like I have the right to eat something.

I'm here to tell you that you're not the only one