Life Changes...

I'm 64 this month and towards the end of my working career. I've had a very successful consulting practice for over 15 years and decided it was time to get off airplanes and stop living out of a suitcase and settle in back home. I had planned to offer my services on a part time basis to other consulting firms and work a reasonable schedule. The market has changed and now find myself passed over for these kinds of opportunities. Having been working for 40+ years, the thought that I have no value is devastating. Childhood circumstances led me to a place where I defined myself worth by my business value. I've decided to go into counseling, but my feelings are real and negative and paralyzing and getting worse.

Id love to connect with folks in a similar situation to share.

[Lostjoy]

Hi, I am 53. I've been driving truck with my husband the last 18 years. The last 3 being owner operators. I am tired of driving. I want to find something that I can do locally, but I haven't worked around people in 18 years. I am depressed, and get anxiety any time I think about applying for a position. I know things have changed since I've worked managing a grocery store. I'm not even sure if I am capable of learning all the new technology.

[Hidden in reply to Lostjoy]

Lostjoy I think for you the fear is worse than the reality could be. Why not apply and see what happens. You don't have to take a job if it is too much but you need to start working on your fear and not let it overwhelm you. Face it down and I bet it won't be anywhere near as bad as you think. x

[Lostjoy in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for that. I haven't really thought about it in this way. You are right "why not apply" it could change my life forever. Hope your day is good!

[Hidden in reply to Lostjoy]

You are welcome. I know about this coz it is something I do a lot which stops me doing many things. I will take my own advice and start pushing the boundaries a bit. x

[Hidden]

The same thing happened to me when I lost my last job through sickness. I was only 56 but couldn't get a new job because I was dismissed and also I am now considered too old round here. No one wants me anymore.

It affected my self esteem too as a lot of my self esteem was tied up in work. Fortunately my sister got a new puppy and as she is disabled I walked it every day. I also helped care for my elderly mother. These gave me a sense of purpose.

When my mum died I found myself at a loose end feeling useless again so I became a volunteer in a charity shop. Ok it doesn't pay but all the other benefits of work are there. Best of all I only need to do it very part time and I now love having so much time to myself. My confidence has increased a lot over the past couple of years.

You need to sit down and work out a plan. When you are working your days are structured for you and it is very strange to have no structure at all. You have to make your own structures, but you can concentrate on doing things you enjoy instead of things you don't.

Good luck with that. x

[Roseanne333 in reply to Hidden]

I have been trying to do this very thing for a week. How do I start with a structure plan for a new life after retirement?

[gogogirl]

Lucky you- you were successful . Not so much here although I have worked at a professional and had many ups and downs. Feel good about what you have accomplished and no you are not your business. What type of consulting did you do? Hey, at 66 I am trying to reinvent myself. Feel like I have asleep.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

I've been an independent management consult since 2001. I'm a freelance contractor that helps small to very large companies plan and deploy leading-edge customer relationship management systems. The field is growing and improving at such a fast pace, I find myself being left behind (from a technology perspective). While I'm OK with that, the frustration I'm feeling is that no one recognizes the value of the non-technical (essential) "street smarts" I've acquired. I feel like an old Eskimo set afloat alone on an ice floe to drift away and die.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Well, that's impressive, and I know what it feels like to be an old shoe.

[gogogirl]

Hey, even as a kid- people ( including my late father ) thought I was a space cadet. Still am. I wonder if I have some signs of asbergers sometimes although I do not have a diagnosis. I have been feeling very lost and depressed. My brother calls me someone from another planet who lives in a fantasy world, and I am in my sixties.