Help for my anxiety ridden son

Hi, my son has debilitating anxiety and has struggled to the point of having to withdraw from school etc. he had a bout of severe depression years ago with the the severe anxiety (social) at the root. He had never taken any hoey acting meds like xanax until recently his doctor prescribed for him. He has to take 2-3 mg a day just to function as "normal" and live life. It allows him to be himself but he doesn't want to be on this medicine. It's like being in between a rock and a hard place with this medicine. He has had CBT and years of therapy that has not touched it. Has anyone had severe anxiety that prevents them from living a normal life etc? He is actually running and foing to a gym to exercise everyday on this medicine of which he would have NEVER ever done before. Do people take this kind of medicine at that dose long term for this horrible condition. And by the heart goes out to all of you living with any mental health condition. Our family understands it all too well and we pray for anyone living with or through it. We would really appreciate any help from those with this level of debilitation or anyone on long term benzo use. Any recommendations for psychiatrists with a real understanding of this and how to treat in the state of Colorado. He is there now in school and we are out of state. Thank you!

7 Replies

  • My Son has also struggled with anxiety. We never noticed any problems when he was growing up. He was 26 when he had his first episode which lasted about 8 months. He was able to get off of the Xanax, and back to a normal life. He has always worked out, and uses that as stress relief. He is now 30, has a full time job, and lives on his own.

    I just can't hardly talk about this as it hurts to bad. We moved away to be close to our job, and I am not functioning well. I just want to be back close to the kids even though they are all grown.

  • I think you're being very supportive to him and doing your best. It's good that he's starting to exercise. I don't know a lot about pharmaceuticals, but if they're allowing him to see some personal growth then that's a good thing. Medication doesn't have to be permanent.

    Best wishes.

  • Thank you for your positive words!

  • Hello, my son is struggling terribly. School started and he wanted to go to new school where his ONE friend goes. We we're happy because he was in dual private/homeschool and he was not social except fishing with friend. He lays in bed or stays on computer and says that's what all teen boys do. First week missed two days due to anxiety and panic attack. I called every dr in town said appointments are 3-6 weeks out due to severity of other kids that are self harm. I truly believe in excercise and eattting well and in natural supplements that could work, my son is stubborn and will not exercise or ANYTHING but take a couple supplements (Gabba, omega 3) which I heard helps and I bought magnesium which Is supposed to help also. I figured I'd get him on this until he can see dr and get meds if needed, which at this point I'm sure of. He said he felt a little better but today he missed school again and also said he hates life. I've cried a LOT he heard me I didn't want to upset him but I too am SUPER anxious due to his not getting out of bed. I'm so worried and like another mom feel so SAD for other kids going through this AWFUL illness. And for SO many even sicker than my son to harm themselves makes me sadder than ever. What can be the ROOT of all the mental illness in our society? What's the real Problem? We have family history of this but why is there such a need and why can't we get help quickly? I'm overwhelmed, I thought too we could pray for healing.. sadly prayers not working.. I wish all wellness, peace and healing

  • Gosh I am so sorry to hear this. It is heart breaking to hear about kids living with this everyday. We have an epidemic in the country for sure. We found that this level of anxiety can quickly (and sometimes not as fast) major depression. Our son had years of the anxiety without any helpful treatment (and we did CBT etc) and then he became depressed and attempted suicide, ultimately having ECT to achieve remission. We know the disadvantages of medication but what is the choice? Medication can save lives and it is necessary for some people and that is ok. My advice for what it is worth is to listen to his words carefully so you can recognize subtle hints for help or worsening depression. When they are not getting out of bed and avoiding people and places, that is a red flag to pay attention to. I say this from experience from our own. No, prayers are not the answer but I find that it helps me to have some sort of faith at least that there is some reason for the hell my son lives thru. Keep at him to consider help or a physician for what sounds like both depression and anxiety. Thinking of you as well - it is so hard as a mother! I would've taken it ten times over if he could've been spared of it and o know you would to. Hang in there.

  • I don't want to alarm you at all but I had been on long term benzodiazepine use and it was terrible. At first it worked pretty good but I found I was relying on it too much and not working on getting to the root of my anxiety issue. I went off of it after 6 years because my anxiety wasn't improving and it was a nightmare. I can gladly say that I no longer have a dependency on the drug. And am approaching it from a different perspective.

    there is an amazing site called "" that provides in depth information on the condition. There are therapists available on the site that can do Skype or phone counseling. Everyone of the therapists have suffered from debilitating anxiety and have recovered completely.

    Best wishes to your son!

  • My daughter also has severe anxiety that doesn't allow her to go to regular school. This is our first attempt to online school and it's not going well. She is 11 and diagnosed with agoraphobia. Her father, my now ex has had it his whole life. Even to the point where he was untreated for 10 years and never left his parents home. It was self medicated by alcohol. Her dr WILL NOT prescribe benzos for obvious reasons and I support his conclusion. Her father got in xanax and continued to drink alcohol daily. It ruined our marriage and his life. Now, two of my three girls suffered horribly with this anxiety. My oldest (17) is in Zoloft and leading a very productive "normal" teenage life. She fits in well with others, had a job she's passionate about, I said a Senior this year in a Catholic private school that she's always gone to. The difference in her is that she is a much different personality than the little one and had to have immersion therapy. Not for the weak of heart. Extremely difficult to go through. But exactly what she needed with her personality. The only downfall is now she hates me but loves life. The little one is going a different route with introceptive therapy-a type of Cognitive Behavioral therspy. She's a much much more sensitive and cautious soul. This is a very very slow process using IT but the best fit for her. I hope this helps Kmch.

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