I feel useless. I have for a really long time. I've went to counciling for my deppression. I've took abilify ( I wouldn't take zanex cause I used to have a problem with abusing them), and I've gotten help with techniques on how to handle it. But for some reason I always come back to feeling this way. I've tried so hard to take life on, but no matter what I do I fail. For example, I've tried starting a fund raiser to build a skatepark in my town and it feel apart due to someone who was helping me with the fundraiser. I've been working on my music for ever and I just can never seem good enough for myself, or to be good enough for the real world. And that hurts. I've put 4 years into this and it seems I just can't get anywhere. I'm not saying successessfull just happy to be were in at. That's all I ask. Tonight I made a dumb disicion because of all of my stress. And I'm afraid that one day all my stress is gonna add up and I'm gonna make a bad deduction to late. I'm just so dissopointed in myself for everything. I hate myself, I hate who I am, I hate how things are going.. I just want everything to go easy like it did. Like fuck. I'm so tired. Idk what to do at all.