Feel like I'm having a mid life crisis at age 20.

[Depressed1996]

I have felt like this for the past few months now. I have been very very fearful of death and what happens after you die. I try to believe in religions but I have so many doubts. I have been trying to find new things I enjoy all the time but really can't find anything. I even count how many days I feel like I have left alive because I feel like maybe I'd appreciate the life I have more. I'm trying to get religious I just have such a hard time with it. The thought of non existence just terrifies me so much. I know that if there isn't an afterlife I will never know but still. Why would I want to spend my life working just to die and never be able to even look back on it. I just feel I have to find some belief system. I personally lean towards Christianity because that's what my family was but I often wonder if I was born somewhere else in the world would I just do what I'm doing now? Just go with what religion my family birthed me into.

Sorry just ranting. I would like to hear how more of you guys cope with the thought of dieing

[blackcat64013]

Death and taxes are inevitable. The point is there is the medical model which describes how death occurs. What happens next is the big question. The book of Job asks a question about the afterlife very simply: “If a man dies, will he live again?” (Job 14:14).

I feel the best way to address your unmet need for answers is to be aware of the situation and let any "spirit" guide you in the path right for you. Someone will come into your life who will direct your life path.

You might need to check in with a counselor for a mental health check to be sure it's your religious conundrum that is affecting your thinking and not depression and /or anxiety.

[Depressed1996 in reply to blackcat64013]

I've been diagnosed with depression for 2 years or so. I think that these thoughts the last few months have just been amplifying my anxiety and depression and I hope that i figure out how to get out of this and be comfortable with my beliefs.