I feel I'm in some kind of crisis.

[formidible]

I'm still having low mornings, especially when I have little or not much to do. I live alone and really feel alone when in that horrible state of mind. I have no one I can just lift the phone to talk to. I have to do everything myself. I feel so low and anxious sometimes and feel numb with anxiety. I did manage to get out for a walk this morning no matter what. I'm on 30mg Mirtazapine and 9my Diazapam. I'm fearful this state is just getting worse, despite my belief in self help. I'm trying to get support. I feel a failure. If only I could talk to someone every day for a friendly chat. I'm self conscious this is sounding a bit sad, but that's how I'm feeling.

[Hidden]

It is not sad, it is normal. Maybe u can join me in my routine when I am supper bored. I open my HU account and then read posts. I start with new comers and then I check those who need support and then I end with those who are just into fun. I must tell by the time I am done, I get shocked that I have spent three to four hours here in HU. Sometimes I spend minutes chatting back and forth with people here just having nice time. If u are bored next time, just be there for those who need support. U will be fine bcz u can even make connections and find a real friend here

[2021ESSEN in reply to Hidden]

Hear the suffering...warmth and hugs...please watch the Dr Claire Weekes you tube videos on coping with anxiety...I did yesterday and have ordered her book ... can you sit still for 5mts and just embrace the anxiety...if you like I can be with you on zoom for support as you do it...any time after 10am and before 1pm India time.

[Hidden in reply to 2021ESSEN]

Let me check her out and see it

[formidible in reply to 2021ESSEN]

I will check it out too. Thanks for the kindness.

[stranglers]

Sorry to hear your predicament. I have been feeling pretty much the same. I need to do what your doing & go for a walk but feeble excuse the cold puts me off. I was on Mirtazapine 30mg but tapered off last week & have now started Prozac fingers crossed this one helps

[formidible in reply to stranglers]

Good luck with the Prozac. I've tried several SSRI's but none really worked for me.

[lillyofthevalley37]

Hi there you live in UK so why don't you ring CRISIS team ? Do you have their number ? They may know of some local services near you , what about voluntary work ? Hope you are feeling better now that it is later in the day , walking is almost always a good idea, do you read at all - Anita Brooker s novels are really good I have read all of them at least three times , the other thing is do you drink coffee for breakfast as coffee always cheers me up, sending you best wishes

[SeekingPeace1]

I too feel the worst in the mornings with anxiety and depression. And yes its worse when there's nothing to do. Unfortunately I'm unemployed - I haven't been able to hold a job because of the anxiety and depression. So its a vicious cycle.

Maybe you could ask your doctor to change your meds and put you on an SSRI for anxiety and depression - they do work. Diazepam (and other benzodiazepines) should not be taken continuously for more than a few weeks because it causes dependence - that is the medicine stops working and you have to keep increasing the dosage to get the same effect. And withdrawal from it is very difficult.

[formidible in reply to SeekingPeace1]

I do know about the Diazapam dependence. For me it's a slow attempt to withdraw. Unfortunately no SSRI'S have worked for me in the past. I identify with the viscous cycle though. That's exactly how I feel.

[lillyofthevalley37 in reply to formidible]

If you don't respond to ssri s that must mean you don't need serotonin so this suggests you need the opposite of serotonin which is dopamine

Coffee is a great source of dopamine that's why I suggest you have real coffee for breakfast and see what a difference it makes

I recommend Aldi Columbian ground coffee

[formidible in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Hi Lilly. I have a decaf Latte coffee every morning.

[lillyofthevalley37 in reply to formidible]

Why don't you have caffinated coffee ?

[formidible in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Caffeine is well known for increasing anxiety, though I occasionally have it.

[lillyofthevalley37 in reply to formidible]

If you can tolerate it coffee will give you a lift on a morning ,start with a small real coffee and see how you go

[formidible in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Ok, thanks Lilly.

[goldieoldie]

Hi,you know I quite admire men who admit to feeling vulnerable its so easy to kid and pretend that things are alright when yoou know deep down there not,and as for needing someone to talk to again I too need someone to relate to especially now Im wanting to spread my wings before its too late .Lockdown is something Im very familiar with also anxiety and diazapam my crutch...or necessary part of getting by.

[Tranquilwaters]

Hello, I wanted to reach out to you as I'm in a very similar position, and am in my 50's. Just like you, I've tried pretty much most of the SSRI's and also Venlafaxine, but they all actually made my anxiety worse (I do see a psychiatrist via the NHS, but am about to go private as our mental health service is pretty bad here). I have just stopped 6mg diazepam cold turkey, but was only on it 3 weeks and didn't want to stay on longer due to dependence and anyway, it was making my mood much lower. Mornings at first just used to be bad before starting the diazepam, but since stopping it i've had anxiety non stop all day since day 3 off them. I didn't think I would feel this bad after such a short time on them and wish I hadn't taken them at all. We just have to keep plugging away at it as best as we can, I guess. I hope you can manage to see a psychiatrist soon, and definitely do keep in regular contact with your GP too. I can definitely recommend Claire Weeke's book 'Self Help For Your Nerves' as well. I am here for a friendly chat any time - feel free to message me. I'm in the UK. I'm guessing you are too? Take care.

[formidible in reply to Tranquilwaters]

Thanks so much for your understanding. It means a lot. I'm sure the effects of the Diazapam withdrawel will reduce for you soon as you've only been on them for a short time. Going cold turkey was very courageous of you. Thanks again.

[Hidden]

Hi formidible. Thank you for sharing. I think this is a good place.

[2021ESSEN]

I find that my spiritual practice is a huge source of support...even if you are not religious, making a morning routine of bath, walk, prayer, coffee can help.

My prayer can be anything that gives thanks, seeks forgiveness, and support for the day...

I also write a few bullets under 3 heads at the start of the day

Thanks for

Let go

Focus on

The next day I check progress...the anxiety hasn't stopped but the focussed action has improved...it's usually very simple...paying a bill, shopping for groceries, making a telephone call...I try and limit to 3 or 4 and feel good when I can tick them off the next day...small steps but they have helped me.

I've also found that getting out of bed immediately after waking doesn't give the anxiety time to seep in...unfortunately I almost always try to snuggle back in and can actually feel the anxiety coming on.

Hope you have a few good moments today.

Warmth and hug

[FearIsALiar]

You have us to talk to! And you even have our support. We all are going through it so we are in this together. Depression/anxiety is a difficult thing to deal with. I understand. Not fun at all. If you’d like feel free to PM me! I’d love to have a chat.