Doing a little better

[Depressed1996]

I have been doing a little better with my anxiety the past 2 weeks or so. I no longer have chest pains a lot. Only durning panic attacks which have been happening much less. But I still cannot get my mind of death and the afterlife of no after life. My mind constantly thinks about it and the problem is it's so circular. I'm not sure we will ever know during life what happens when we die and that just sucks to me. I can't stand not knowing it give me so much fear and anxiety. I try to get myself in a mind set where I say that's the Beauty of life and all the cliche stuff but I always come back to it. I just wish I had a definite answer but I know I never will. I just can't stand that it's a huge possibility that when we die it's all over. I can even fathom lack of thinking. No dreaming. No anything. Just thinking about that give me constant panic and I think about it a lot. I know a lot of people think it will be peaceful and stuff and if there really is no afterlife I will never know because once I'm dead I'm dead.

I just can't handle the thought of no thinking or anything. Even if it's peaceful or non noticeable I cannot live with that belief because I cannot live a normal life thinking like that. I'm young so me thinking that this life is it makes me want to not work makes me just want to try and do everything I want to do and it just troubles me so much. I don't understand how atheist do it. How do you go through normal slow boring life when you think this is it??????

So I'm trying to get religious but I have so much trouble believing in these things. I just wish science would find the answer and it would be a good one... but I know that is impossible and we will never know what happens in our lifetime. I just don't want it to end. Even though I'm very depressed it just seems even worse to not be alive.

[Depressed1996]

Got caught up in the negative stuff when writing it I forgot to write some positives.

I'm doing much better anxiety wise I have just been distracting myself with video games mainly to keep me from thinking about death and stuff to much.

[Hidden]

I like to think of Life as a School. When we die, (to me) it's a Graduation! On the other side we get to review our Life and analyze what we did wrong and what we learned from our experiences. I don't know what happens for sure, but I like to believe the only reason we'd go thru the splendor and hell of life... Would be to learn to be better people, better friends, better spirits. Read "The Other Side and Back" by Sylvia Browne. It may help you to switch your focus on death to a positive one. 😊

[Depressed1996 in reply to Hidden]

I try to think like that to. I just hate the uncertainty about it. Not knowing causes me so much pain. I will look into the book, thank you for your advice.

[Searching123]

Acceptance is the key my dear. Find it and the fear will fall from you like leaves from a tree.

Plus, science can break the human body down to atoms and molecules but it has no answer for the soul, which is why there is no answer to what happens when we die. I truly believe the Buddhists have it cracked, I believe our souls live on and we get reincarnated to live many lives. Each is a journey that teaches us new lessons. I also heard somewhere the ones of us that are dealt the harshest hand in our current life means we have lived at least once before. We are deemed able to live through it as we have already experienced a degree of pain and are therefore stronger. Going on that principle, we get stronger in each life.. we'll eventually be made of steel. That's just my personal belief, it brings me peace when I feel the why you do now. Hope it brings you a little of what it does me

[Depressed1996 in reply to Searching123]

Thank you. I for sure feel I need to accept whatever it is I end up believing. I have to believe it 200%. No doubts. Then I think I should be less anxious about dieing.

[Searching123 in reply to Depressed1996]

When you find your belief, the anxiety will drain away to nothing. I hope you find it soon

[Depressed1996 in reply to Searching123]

Thank you so much, that was nice to read to be honest.