Family 😔

I have some family stuff that's making me feel horrible. My brother in law is about to retire from military (he's 42), they decided to move- our family lives in same area. We live in Ca, sf bay area, it's expensive.... I get it... they decided Idaho, near his family.... My mom has also decided to move with them (My mom is in her mid-50's, not retired, works for TSA), all 3 in same house. I'm heartbroken.... feeling abandoned... we're hoping to get pregnant, soonish, first child on my side of family. My mother in law is in OR, 8 hours away.... I would like a mom at that time, am I wrong? To make it hurt more.... my sister is the 1 to tell me (on phone).... I was/am very upset, we basically got into an agrument, had to give my husband the phone because I was breaking down. My mom & I have barely discuss it.... My sister has always been "the favorite ", though mom denies it.... My sister leaves on 18th, 5 days before my birthday, 2 days before my husband leaves for Wa, for school. My mom isn't moving yet, they haven't bought a place, going to live with his parents until they do. We're all suppose to get together tomorrow night, celebrating my mom's birthday (also, going to baseball game Monday)... I really don't want to go to either. My husband got everyone's ticket.... My brother is picking us up tomorrow, he's not moving (thankfully), believe he's aware of how I feel.... he knows the anxiety, depression has gotten real bad again. My sister & mom do not. It hurts a lot...😢Thank you for letting me vent....

3 Replies

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  • Life's a bit** sometimes, isn't it? Parents expect children to move out and away, not the other way around. Go tomorrow, pick out your clothes now that you like.Any thing you can do tonight to make you feel good about yourself tomorrow, do it.

    As every one knows how disappointed you are, you might as well show that you're a mature woman starting your own family. Ask your Mom is she going to be available to come when you are expecting the baby to be born as you need her and love her and want her there. You live in one of the most beautiful places in the US and they are the ones who have to move because they can't afford to live closer. You must have shown your Mom you are an independent mature young woman. That's great. Be disappointed, sad and wish they could all live near you, but this is a changing world and many families live apart.

    But tomorrow have your little talk about the baby with your Mom and show everyone you are the woman they think you are.

    Don't let your anxiety sneak in and try to steal the day away from you and your extended family. Make it a good day so it will encourage them to keep in touch and plan future days like this one regardless where they move. :)

  • Thank you so much for your little talk PTSDforyears.😊Painted my nails, a lovely rose gold, wearing a cute print dress. Hoping tonight goes well, at least there'll be cake. My sister is a trained pastry chef, made a chocolate cake with coffee buttercream. Monday probably will be the easiest of the 2 nights, battle of the bay, A's vs Giants. Everyone in family are A's fans, except brother in law . Things between my mom & I have been hard for awhile, ive been holding things in, because I don't want to cause any drama. It might be easier to talk to her once my sister moves. My sister tends not to argue fairly, & with my mom being her neighbor, things always get back to her. The baby thing I had been holding in.... My sister doesn't have any (she's the younger sister, 32), she has health issues & doesn't want to risk it.... touchy subject for her.... Who knows what will happen, especially once a baby is in the picture. My brother & mom have promised to spend my birthday with me, so I'm not alone.

    My husband & I for the most part love living in the bay area. We own a house (not paid off), are fortunate that he has a steady job that pays well. We aren't rich, but happy. I know we're lucky, when anxiety & depression aren't cloudy my mind. Other people might think I shouldn't be depressed.

    Anyways, how are doing? How's life in Florida (right?)? When's the next cruise? Hope you are enjoying your weekend.💛🙏

  • Oh,Mel, Thank you for your very enjoyable reply. It is like a breath of fresh air. So, you're still able to reach your toes! Rose gold. Great! There is a brand of nail polish available on line, but I've picked up a number of colors at the stores in the islands. We aren't on a ship in August.....If we want to be hot and sticky we can stay in Tampa.

    Back to the nail polish, the color put on your toes changes color after a short time in sunlight.....really cool. Bought enough to give 1-2 bottles to my nieces for Christmas stocking stuffers. I mean a red will turn blue......the wicked one is the barely clear polish that turns bright red in sun light. When you reach the time when you can't reach your own toes, you could paint your sisters and see how she responds later. Wish I could push the bottle through the screen of my computer.

    But would be cooler is to just tell your husband it hurts to bend over to polish your toes now,and would he please do it for you. Then if your toes have been in the sun a little after he does it, see if he notices. That could actually be romantic when you want.

    In any case, your attitude is good, and all families have some prickly areas, like the elephant in the room but no one talks about it. You're taking the high road, and just look your glorious self tonight and tomorrow!

    :)

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