It's about 3:14am pacific time and I'm just tired of anxiety... I tend to breathe deeper and then scratching more. I'm on edge more then ever, I can't even take care of myself, I'm tense, I see things differently etc etc etc. A lot of what-if's and jitters, I have to move my hand to tell me to breathe. What's super weird is that my last post was about me being worried being home alone for a night, but it actually didn't end up being bad at all! I actually binge watched a show and for some reason I didn't let my anxiety get to me and had to stay strong bc I had no one to fall back onto except for myself. So why can't I do that now when we have a full house? Is it bc I see everybody being normal that I compare? Like nowadays I like staying at home, laying on the couch, being comfy. My bf is the total opposite. And I don't wanna be a let down... I have become this person that I don't know. This anxiety has definitely changed my life. Sometimes for the better and other times it's feels worse... it's the same shit everyday... sigh I just wanna get better. How do I stay strong esp with people here? I don't wanna use them as crutches. I wanna stand on my own. Any help would be great.