Sigh......

[mz_rachel]

It's about 3:14am pacific time and I'm just tired of anxiety... I tend to breathe deeper and then scratching more. I'm on edge more then ever, I can't even take care of myself, I'm tense, I see things differently etc etc etc. A lot of what-if's and jitters, I have to move my hand to tell me to breathe. What's super weird is that my last post was about me being worried being home alone for a night, but it actually didn't end up being bad at all! I actually binge watched a show and for some reason I didn't let my anxiety get to me and had to stay strong bc I had no one to fall back onto except for myself. So why can't I do that now when we have a full house? Is it bc I see everybody being normal that I compare? Like nowadays I like staying at home, laying on the couch, being comfy. My bf is the total opposite. And I don't wanna be a let down... I have become this person that I don't know. This anxiety has definitely changed my life. Sometimes for the better and other times it's feels worse... it's the same shit everyday... sigh I just wanna get better. How do I stay strong esp with people here? I don't wanna use them as crutches. I wanna stand on my own. Any help would be great.

[Hidden]

Hey! I hope you're feeling better. I guess what I would do is try to re-create some alone time kinda like the one you had on the other night while there's people in the house. Maybe, each time you do it you'll feel more comfortable being on your own?