PTSD, anxiety and depression

[Niveus88]

Hi all

[Hidden]

Hi 'yawl back to you. And.........?

[Niveus88 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much for your help. May fate smile upon you and Mr Russell!

[Hidden in reply to Niveus88]

No worries. Please drink a lot of fluids (no, that does not include alcohol lol) eat and stay on your med schedule and try not to use all xanax at one time, then end up short and have a seizure like I enjoyed last June. It's after 1 a.m. so, although you have insomnia....maybe because you did take all the xanax and your body is going...."Woah...what's all this and what should I do with this....ah, I know, I'm mellow now so I'll just stay awake"....I do hope you sleep some to get ready for tomorrow's special brother birthday circus. But don't take a gun, it may only be knife fight.

If you really want to play your mom and brother and wife, tomorrow first tell your wife and quite seriously, and then your Mom and brother, you think your family is right and because of their efforts, you have seen God's way and are considering studying to be a preacher, but you'll need to cut way back on your expenses, and will need some help from them financially to do this to pay your bills because you may not be able to work the hours and study too. And your wife is going to need to probably work too. Come on, think about it, keep a straight face, and play this through the whole day...and your Mother may need to start eating at your brother's place. You're thinking about renting out the extra bedroom. But if this is God's will, it will all work out with their help.

My husband and I are going to a local comedy club tomorrow evening, wish you could go with us as I think you're going to need that after tomorrow afternoon.

Linc

[Niveus88 in reply to Hidden]

Wow I may try that because I went to seminary for two yrs. Maybe it's time I finish lol? My dad is a minister and he actually believes I'm I'll and not possessed. He married my wife and I. My grandfather wouldn't have let them run over me or dad but dad's in KY and Mr Peter Joachim bierlein is resting well. Ok I'm ok I'm on

[Hidden in reply to Niveus88]

Sounds like a plan.

[Niveus88 in reply to Hidden]

Sorry to bug you so late but how do you have the emotional strength to help me and maybe others here too?

[Hidden in reply to Niveus88]

Oh, I really don't. And I'm not welding or pipe fitting. That could plum knock me out.

But it helps me to help when I can. And I had support at times from just one person at a time that made all the difference to me and was not much more than an inconvenience to them. Sometimes at night I'm the calmest and I don't even try to open 40 posts. I delete, delete, delete and then a post looks like some attention should be given it, and I'll open it.

There are 2 or 3 women I respect and keep in touch as we seem to think along the same way and with wicked humor, no negative messages of "poor me". as we know one anothers' challenges by now. One is in Australia, one is in the states, not certain about the other...may also be in the states.

There is a 20year old man in London I keep in touch with, he needs it although he tries to be a MAN, and deal with things...when he gets to feeling anxious, etc., he'll not use any social media for awhile to regroup himself and it may be days before he messages me. He really liked my dog Scooter.

My mornings are difficult now, and I make certain that I am never in a position where two people in this venue are both in need for daily communication. Wouldn't work out I think...but after the intensity of the early communications has set a plan into place, that person has more of an idea where he is going and decisions are made and he/she flies pretty much on their own and keep in touch as needed or wanted.

Guess I'm just a train conductor that tries to polish the chrome, show how to replace broken parts with new ones (guilt, anger, self-value, medication, getting a better doctor, etc.) make sure the train is on the right track, and then back away and let the engineer take over on his/her own. Not all make it, but they seem to try again.

Linc

[Sweetsoul36]

Hello

[Hidden in reply to Sweetsoul36]

Hello back

[Niveus88 in reply to Hidden]

Good evening

I have a few names of psychiatrists from my hmo. You were right Columbus is chalked full of them.

Here goes:

Franz Sherman

Jerry Neff

Michael shrift

Geoffrey fortner

Ann kledzick

Gregory sidell

Dennis landerson

Charles coats

Aaron whiteman

Frank Covington

Been another Spanish Inquisition day. Torture that is lol. My family treats me like I'm contagious or something. People are afraid of what is unfamiliar. You know how it is?

I saw your post on here. I believe you were answering a question. It was 'how can you tell if you have anxiety?' I liked your view. It was well spoken and clever. Anyway it seems that you maybe your brothers keeper and the finder of lost children so to speak

[Hidden in reply to Niveus88]

Okkkk. Now we need to find out where in Columbus they are located to make certain you don't have to drive two hours across Columbus instead of 1 hour, what their office hours are, if they are accepting new patients and if any of them are worth a feaking damn. My job!

[Niveus88 in reply to Hidden]

I located them and most of them are about 40 minutes from home and 20-45 minutes from work. You know I appreciate your help right? It is much appreciated

[Hidden in reply to Niveus88]

Ok, will try to pull them up on google or firefox or whatever and start making notes tomorrow and maybe call them starting Monday.

Again, about your dominant left arm and the tremors.....has a neurologist ever examined you to make certain there is no spinal or neck injury that might cause that tremor?

Appreciate an answer tonight and may make a difference in how we approach this...the psychiatrist may want a neurologist see you, and that means trying to locate one close to the psychiatrist, etc...you get my drift.

[Niveus88 in reply to Hidden]

No I haven't but I will perhaps as early as this coming Thursday or Friday,? I don't know how quickly I could find one and get off work to see them. I'll do my best to make it ASAP

[Hidden in reply to Niveus88]

Ok, didn't mean to put any pressure on you, ok? Do it when you can do it without rocking the boat. Guess your current psychiatrist never saw you when your arm was in that tremor. Chill, as the neurologist may want to set up a nerve conduction test. Nothing painful at all. But it just occurred to me you never said the trembling had been connected to your anxiety. Just want to make certain you do not have a work related injury. That's your dominant arm that you need for welding, lifting, etc. Remind me...exactly when did your arm/hand have its first "spasm"....before or after your drinking episode? This may be nothing at all. I can start research on the psychiatrists without you first lining up a neurologist....and don't know if you need a referral from the work clinic.....And I am very aware we can't look like we're rocking the boat...particularly since that episode with your boss, we need to be careful. But try to think back, and maybe your wife can be your Sherlock Holmes and can help you remember when that tremor started and where you were at the time. Try to think if ever happened without an anxiety hour or panic attack .Did you ever have an MRI of your spine or neck. If you wanted to go hunting would you be able to steady a rifle and pull the trigger with your left arm? (without falling down lol)

I know I can't now since the neck surgery I had to have after my fall in 1984. Well, sorry to mention this so late, and don't let it cause a memory loop started in your brain that won't let you sleep.

Think maybe it' time to consider talking to you and your wife if she is a woman who can keep things "close to the vest" (meaning he can keep her out shut and not say anything to any body about any of this) Think she might be more supportive of you and may be stop pushing you to work more hours if she really understood we are trying to do something serious here. And may be more receptive to not be over spending on things......like keeping the receipts in an envelop so you know where the money goes.....

And can't promise any thing can be changed, but I do care about you and your wife and dogs.....How could I not?

Sent you two emails to your email address They only say testing, or something just to see if you received them.

Am going to bed.....trying to sleep normal hours, but not happening since Scooter's leaving. Just really peaceful at this time of night in my rocking chair, the cat next to me and Scooter used to be there too. This is the best time of day for me right now, but Russell wants me to try to go to bed with him by 11 or 11:30 p.m. Last night it was about 3:30 am before I climbed in.

Good night.

[Hidden in reply to Niveus88]

Oh, about the question that asked how do you know if you have anxiety?

I wanted so badly to reply: "You'd know it if you had it."

Sometimes, when I'm just cleaning the 40 or so posts off my screen without looking at them, don't have the time or energy or patience with them, so I look for the few I recognise. But occasionally I see the title of one that I just have to read.....but they are so stupid, that I want to be a smart a** and want to respond with a Monty Python answer. But I restrain myself, cause I'll get reported to the venue police (administrator) who will tell me not to do that and not communicate with that poster again. BUT, there are a million pigeons out there on these two venues, I'd be dead before he told me not to communicate to each one of them, one by one.....so what the he**.

[Niveus88 in reply to Hidden]

Responding to I'd need to see a comedian before or after brothers b-day party. I awoke late, cold sweat, shaking like a leaf. Put on shorts and got one leg in a went off balance when I tried to put in the other and took a spill 'to can lol that part' I can't drive right handed very well, almost got me and the Mrs hit by a van flying down a county road going to his home. I walk in on bday dinner sick to my stomach from the close call on the road. I try to eat with a fork right handed, missed my mouth a stuck myself in the side of my lip, everyone got quiet and stared at me, after dinner I got some fresh air because he's out in the peaceful country until the ugly sound rapid handgun fire, I guess it scared me so bad I jumped out of my skin. I was sitting on the front porch railing and tumbled off only a few feet. Hurt my ego worse than body. Turns out my brother snuck out back and dropped a few mags as a practical joke. I got mud on face and shirt. Skinned up my elbow a little. He came around the house because I guess he heard me yell and helped me up as he laughed so hard he cried. I cried on the way home. Then finally I could eat after we got home and just took a xanx. Listening to peaceful rain before I go silly. Ever had one of those days?

[Hidden in reply to Niveus88]

no, never have a day like that.....only slipping down a water fall into the fish pool on my butt, stood up and shorts were down around my knees..thank goodness had under wear on.

Then month later fell in on my knees and folded over head first giving me my one, only, but beautiful huge black eye for weeks.

No never have days like yours.

BUT GOOD REASON TO TEACH YOUR WIFE TO DRIVE...SHE CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT....OR MAIL HER DOWN HERE AN I'LL TEACH HER TO DRIVE AN AUTOMATIC AND A STICK SHIFT.

[Hidden in reply to Niveus88]

Is this a list of psychiatrists in Columbus or Indianapolis?

[Niveus88 in reply to Hidden]

All of those Drs are in Columbus. Theoretically I should be able to get one, see them, and get something figured out soon.

[Niveus88]

How are u?

[Niveus88]

I can't figure out how to send you the list of Drs. It's in a PDF. I think I'll have to transcribe it and send it. Off to my brothers bday party. He wants me to get into his brand new shiny pool. Lol I said not a chance I'd be red as a fire hydrant if I did. I'm the original man with no tan.

[Niveus88]

Either way is fine by me. I could have sworn all those Drs were in Columbus. That list was emailed to me by the insurance company. I guess there, they're too busy robbing anyone to notice not all of their listings are in the hmo?

[Niveus88]

Yeah I love my current therapist. He's a good man. Just the psychiatrist sucks. Her name is Schneider. His name the therapist is Glen Stephenson. Therapist Stephenson gives me a couple he once every two weeks. He's so booked. I think the place would be okay if they were open later and not so booked up. She's booked up until November. I'll be out of meds then.

The therapist is asecond shift therapist. I go a 5-6p.m. he's an I sightful mind no doubt but all he seems to produce is an occasional hhhmm, really?or sometimes and occasional wow! Thanks for your help

[Niveus88]

No not really like I said I'm sure he could but most generally just listens with vague curiosity. Even if fall silent which maybe every five minutes in session he is also quiet. I asked him once a penny for your thoughts. He said just analysing it all. Idk. As a lawyer would say think it wise of me to tell a professional about the illegal activities I've seen and participated in?

[Niveus88]

Today's been pretty good. I haven't had much of a tremor at all. Ok lets say you witness something horrific. Like a robbery? Maybe like selling dope. A psychiatrist can't really do much unless you say your suicidal or have killed someone right? If I were to get a new therapist or psychiatrist and fill them in I'll be ok? I haven't told anyone in verbal words or really written what afflicts me most.

[Niveus88]

Well I appreciate your offer for a call but I was just rolling around ideas. I wouldn't burden you with something that difficult. You're a nice auntie. I wouldn't want you to have to defile your conscience. I mean by keeping something as bad as murder under your hat.

You'll be happy to know I have an appointment with a new therapist on 8-2 @ 4. It's a referral through work but I think maybe actually get to see a lady by the name of magdoline daas. I've heard from a guy at work she was an especially sharp therapist. So we'll see. Perhaps she'll be able to help me after 3? It was kind of hard to find d someone. Quite a few.of these people are way over booked. Many of them have specialties that almost preclude your acceptance as a patient. I made several mistakes with my old therapist. I didn't tell him most of what he should have known to be able to do his job correctly. I was and am just I'll at ease letting some of it out. You helped me realize that I needed to tell the whole spiel. It's not just the past that troubles me but the present too. I wasn't aware the present would mingle with the past to produce a Molotov cocktail of depression, anxiety, and all of those good PTSD related symptoms. You are definitely your brothers keeper and the finder of lost children. I am going to let this therapist see my communication with you. Just my msg to you. I'll not breech your privacy by showing the replies.

Thanks for the legal advice. I believe I'd hire you if I were in an attorney needed situation. Seems like you go to bat for what's right and decent. Thank you again! I talked to my boss today. I told him that these tremors and the countenance change was something related to a few rough experiences. He said he understood fatigue as he called it. He said he thought I was trying to gain an fmla or something. I shrugged and said I couldn't afford unpaid days. I left from his office kind of relieved.