Questioning the honesty of their humanity.

[Rios-16]

What do you do when someone says they will be there for you, and it doesn't work out?

[Goof]

You just have to move on. It will be hard trust me it will but before in doing so see if you can salvage that relationship,friendship, etc. If not, just focus on you for awhile. Find people that can relate to your interest or in some way. Hope I helped😊

[Rios-16 in reply to Goof]

The thing is. Our relationship just started, except he went away because he had stuff to do. And we were in our little bubble of self help before he left. Now I just feel empty.

[Hidden]

They probably meant it at the time but things change and we can't always know how. Turn to other friends and family who I'm sure will help you through. It's a good idea when you are I'll to have a number of people in your support network as it is hard for them to watch you being ill and if they know there are a number of people it can help make sure you have the support you need.

[Rios-16 in reply to Hidden]

The thing is, I don't have other friends. I've tried to make some but they don't take my state of mind seriously. Thank you for helping though. It means a lot

[Hidden in reply to Rios-16]

Do you have any hobbies or interests? If you do perhaps there are groups near you that get together. Then you would have something to chat about and as a basis for the friendship and once you know them you can gradually start to tell them small bits about your mental health and see how they react. Not everyone listens (or is helpful) but hopefully over time you would find one or two that would accept you for who you are and continue to be your friend. In the meantime would you consider therapy? That can give you a space to think through everything where you would never feel a burden as that's their job.

[Rios-16 in reply to Hidden]

I have considered therapy but my parents wouldn't support me in it. One time I tried telling my mom how it is and she just told me I wanted to stress and worry her even more.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Rios,

You haven't given much information about what "being there for you" means. Sometimes there is a difference between what you want to happen and what the other person thinks they can do for you. If you can have a talk about your disappointment about what didn't go right, you might be surprised when the person who was going to be there for you is and more. Give them the opportunity come through for you.

Have that chat

[Rios-16 in reply to blackcat64013]

I've considered talking but it's hard for me because I already feel like a burden and I'm sure they won't know how to react and I'm scared they'll go away.

[Hidden]

It sucks when that happens but you pick your chin up and move on it will be there loss not your my friend. If you need to chat just send me a message

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Picking your chin up is not human. We are not machines. Please post to me if you would like. Hey, my husband's mom is very ill, and his cousin who was partially raised by her started talking about her new car.

[Rios-16 in reply to gogogirl]

Thank you. You're so kind

[Rios-16 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. It means the world to me that you would consider being here for me.

[Antich]

people do the best they can with what energies they have at that time, but I believe the bottom line is people will let you down even with their best intentions. It doesn't mean that they don't love you or care. What it does mean, I believe, is that we have to be able to love ourselves. That way, when something happens to the people we rely on we will not crumble and fall apart. The only person I can always count on is myself. That doesn't mean that I isolate and push others away, but it does mean I develop a healthy give and take relationship with others. And truthfully the only person I should expect to always help me and support me is my therapist. The other people I am in a relationship with, be it friend family or intimate, well it is not their job to help me. A healthy relationship should be like an upper case H. Two people that stand on their own but have a connection; as opposed to an upper case A -an unhealthy relationship where one falls without the support of the other. Keep busy and love yourself. You are important and Valuable and deserving of your love.

[Rios-16 in reply to Antich]

Thank you for that, there's just one problem I don't love myself

[Antich in reply to Rios-16]

Hi there Rios-16 hope you are having a decent day. Ya I guess my saying 'love yourself ' is one of those easier said than done kinds of things. After all, if the people on this site knew how to love themselves the right way well then we probably wouldn't be on this site !! Can you think of 3 positives about yourself? That's a good place to start

[gogogirl]

I really LIKE that post. Some people are better humans than others.