New To the group and looking for advice

[FORMYBEAN]

Hi All,

I'm Frankie. I'm new to this and I'm not quite sure how it works. I remember being depressed since I was 10 years old. With time, that turned into severe anxiety. I am now 49 and experiencing depression, anxiety, and panic. I am scared all the time. My mom passed away at the end of January, and I have not been able to recuperate from that. I've been seeing a therapist and I'm also medicated (Celexa & Xanax). I'm lethargic and lack energy and concentration most of the time. I needed to take a leave of absence because of all these overwhelming feelings. It is the dread and the paralyzing fear what affects me the most. And I cry non-stop. I wake up with palpitations.

I'm trying to find literature and strategies. Any suggestions?

[Cruncher]

Hello! You came to the right place, because this site is actually quite active, and with very helpful people. There are many communities to choose from as well.

What I do to feel better is I distract myself with learning, music, TV, going on here and helping other people, or I go out and do things with family, friends, or by myself. Showering also makes me feel better. I also try to think as logically as I can with myself. When I am really upset, I stop trying to think about what to do and instead I just indulge in whatever emotion has me upset, because I know the next day, when my head has cleared up, I can think straighter and with a better idea of how to logically comfort myself. For me, it is better than trying to take everything on at once. I also remind myself of facts that obviously contradict my anxiety worries.

I am sorry that you go through this. It is certainly not easy; but it is NOT impossible to get through either! Giving up is not an option, even on the tough days.

[Ddorne]

Formybean, yea it sounds like you are quite depressed. You only lost you Mom in January. That's not so long ago. Grief can take a while. When my Dad died 16 years ago my Mom started getting panic attacks. I still miss him terribly too. You are doing all the right things: meds and therapy. You need time to sort out your feelings . A therapist can help you do that. I am 60 and have had depression and anxiety on and off since I was 19. It does get better. I hadn't been depressed for a while, but my boyfriend broke up with me last summer and I fell into a depression. I am on meds and see my therapist 2 times a week. Do you work? If you are able work can help depression. If not take to heal. Please write back, this is a good group. God Bless LD

[Kobojunkie]

I am afraid that what you are feeling there is depression still, only now you have sorrow thrown in. You lost your mother not too long ago and are depressed about it. That's understandable. But you shouldn't let it debilitate you.

Depression seems to pile on itself. So, you would need to work on dealing with the root cause of the depression, or have your medication adjusted for the new level.

Honestly, I will suggest that you work through your grief. First you need to develop respect for the fact that death is the one thing we are assured of and we don't know when it will come. However, we can live each day as if it's our last ; accomplishing all that you can before you go to bed.

Acceptance in no way means forgetting your mother. God forbid! It instead means you accept the facts of life and choose instead to celebrate her life rather than mourning her death. Choose instead to live the life she wanted you to live and you will see her in yourself.

Grief tends to focus our minds on what we can no longer have, or is gone forever. Truthfully, If you think about it, it is really about you at the end of the day. And I don't think that is the best way to remember a loved one. Acceptance however, is about shifting your focus to how she lived her life, the lessons she taught you and she good and bad times she spent with you.

And this does not need to take many years to accomplish. Sure you are sad a loved one is gone, but your sadness won't change what has happened. So choose instead to be happy about the times you spent with her and what you loved about her.