No feelings : I can't understand... - Anxiety and Depre...

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No feelings

Israa profile image
5 Replies

I can't understand anything about my feelings

This is so weird and scary .. i can't even think

Every thing feels so boring and worthless ..even this group !

I wish it would be my last day i wish i never wake up anymore

My exams are after a month from now ..which I'm gonna fail .I'm not even afraid of not passing the exams !! I feel nothing and I'm losing my job I'm thinking about suicid 1000 times a day

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Israa profile image
Israa
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5 Replies
Fuzzypandaxx profile image
Fuzzypandaxx

First off know that your not alone. I know this site might not be as helpful to you now but it can be. I know that telling you that things will get better isn't helpful or possibly what you want to hear but it's true. Just know that this whole community of people know exactly what your going through so your not alone that's what's helped me the most. Personally when I hit these stages of considering suicide I talk to someone or I just hold onto my cat. Find one thing just one that you can't bare to lose or make upset if you were gone and focus on that! Don't give up things can get better and if you want you can dm me not sure if any of this helps but again your not alone

Hi when I feel like this I google suicide sites looking for a painless way to end it all. By the time I realise that every method is painful and I don't have the means anyway it puts me right off the idea.

I read some of the blogs as well and have heard some horrific stories. You need to go to your doctors and tell them how you are feeling. You can always go to the emergency rooms and put yourself in a safe place.

I know it doesn't feel like it now but there are better times ahead for you. Concentrate your energies not in planning your suicide but in trying to recover. Every day when you wake up make yourself a promise - today is not the day I am going to die. Put it off until the next day and keep on doing it. This has always worked for me.

Fatanddepressed profile image
Fatanddepressed

Good morning. I totally know how you feel. I've had a lot of days like the one you're having. If I never woke, fine. But I know, I'm too afraid to do anything to end my life.

The question is : how do you live through those miserable moments? I can tell you what works for me. Anything in nature. Just standing outside in the warm sunshine is enough to keep me going. I know what you're thinking; "I'm living for the sunshine? Really? That's it? That's the only thing I have to cling to?" When that thought crosses my mind, I have to invest more time in finding little joys, no matter how tiny, usually in nature. The more I find, the better. Eventually, I come to realize that is where God is. I'm not a religious person by any stretch but I think there is a God. I get so mired in self hatred, I can't still myself long enough to see Him. When I'm at my lowest, I have to seek a Him out. I find Him at the beach, in the waves, the sunshine. Or at the park in the blooming hibiscus or squirrels playing chase up a pine tree. Somehow, I draw a tiny spark of hope from these things. So, the key for me is to push through hard enough to get out of bed and get my ass outside. Or at the very least, look out a window. It starts a chain reaction that helps me eliviate the intense misery just enough to not want to die.

I have to admit, this didn't come to me naturally. I was in an intensive outpatient program for a month a couple years ago. This was the most sound advise I got for those dark days. It may work just enough for you to find some solace which frees space in your mind to do the harder stuff to heal.

Let me know if it helps!

Hi Israa how are you feeling today?

Kobojunkie profile image
Kobojunkie

please check yourself into the nearest ER, and start from there. Anhedonia is a common symptom of major depression and i am afraid your best bet is to first get help with ridding yourself of the suicidal thoughts so you can be alive to get treatment for the depression and all its symptoms.

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