My background/Current Crises

[jaco1976]

Hello, my name is Nick and I've been dealing with a tremendously anguishing sense of anxiety since as far back as kindergarten, and severe depression in more recent years. My anxiety morphed over the years from being "separation anxiety" to full-blown generalized anxiety with panic attacks. It all had to do with school, being bullied. And then being bullied at home by a psychotic maniac. For 10 years. It was unrelenting and no one deserves that.

Then, my parents were divorced when I was 7 and I believe, being the youngest of my brothers, I took it the hardest I think because I don't remember having a childhood really. My older brothers are doing well. But I'm 23 and scared. I'm terrified that this cycle of depression and anxiety will kill me

fast forward to now, I've been clean from heroin for almost a year but I just broke up with the love of my life and it's torn me apart. I'm in an extremely sad and lonely place.

I'm glad to have found this forum so that I can seek and gain from a support system

thank you,

Nick

[Spartan808]

Sup nick , sorry that anxiety is putting a hold on you! Sounds like you been strong for a long time! Life'sjourney is so tough. Your story sounds like mine, anxiety will not kill you , find an do something that you love to do. It's hard when you are going through a lot of anxiety an depression,but it can keep your mind busy enough to HEAL!! anxiety is not weakness, it's being strong for to long. YOU WILL GET BETTER, TIME HEALS ALL.

[jaco1976 in reply to Spartan808]

Thank you so much, truly. I'm really really desperate to find more things to occupy my mind for the healing. Fortunately I have something that's perfect for me to do to keep busy. I'm a professional musician and music is all there is to me. I just got a script recently for klonopin and it helps so much.

I'm just taking it day to day.. it's the hardest thing I've ever faced in my young life, I'd certainly say. These are very frightening times and I'm trying SO hard to get a grip back on life. I was happy with her. Now I feel like nothing again. I loved her so much and I miss her more than anything in the world.

all I can do right now is try to fight through this. thankfully, i have anxiety medication which helps me out in a night/day difference kind of way. It makes me able to function. So that's what I'm trying to do and seriously, thank you so much for your reply.

[Spartan808 in reply to jaco1976]

No problem ! Sounds like music is a passion for you. It's hard losing the love of your life, keep your head up bro! You are young an will be a better MAN!!