Depression and bereavement

[Leenie0811]

Hi everyone,

I've not really spoke about this to a lot of people but I'm in need of some advice otherwise my life is going down the pan. 3 and a half years ago a month before my 21st my dad died suddenly in his sleep with acute cardiac failure. He was the only one that really got me in my family and my only form of support. 6 months later my grandad (dads dad) died of natural causes or as I think he died of a broken heart losing his son must have been horrible. Fast forward to Jan 2017 my Nanna (dads mum) dies of a short battle with cancer she was diagnosed 4 months previous with a positive chance of surviving they said 2 rounds of chemo would do it and she would have surgery but it ended up killing her. So you have my background but I still have this scenario all family around me don't want to know about my mental health which has lead me to drink excessively to surpress the hurt I have. Two of my brothers are banned from seeing me because their mother isn't the same as mine she controls them even though they are 17 and 13. My own mum is only ever interested when it's her birthday or money is involved. Recently I was reported missing turns out I was on a 24 hour bender where the police and ambulance had to take me to hospital I'm supposed to be getting bereavement counselling but I've just got my phone back and found out my mum has been in contact before and after my partner called the police. She's broken the law and lied to everyone and worse still she put me in danger for another 24 hours!

I'm struggling to come to terms with everything now my family in 3 years have gone from everything to nothing and I don't know what to do I'm on anti depressants 150mg of sertraline to be exact. I've had CBT three times and have almost been close to being sectioned as a result of the missing person report I've been put on a substance testing programme at work too... how do I take control of this and get my life back on track ??

Apologies for the long post and well done if you get this far reading it 😊

[Frin9e]

i feel for you wish you're mum was more understanding, i lost my dad i was 17 at the time (I'm 43 ) it was sudden to, my mum was like you're she only thought of how it effected her she was in bed all day i was left to deal with it myself I've never had counselling, i can only say time is a good healer my partner who is still with me now was my rock still is, do you have any one you can depend on? Do you think meds are working?

hang in there things will get better x

[Leenie0811 in reply to Frin9e]

My medication feels like it works coz it helps me get through the day and my mum wasn't with my dad and hasn't been there for me before he passed that ones a long standing issue I thought when he passed she would step up more but she's just distanced herself even more they split when I was 1yr old so it's not like they were in contact either. If I don't buy her anything drink with her alone away from my partner or she can't get money she doesn't want to know it hurts so bad but I think I need to cut her from my life. How can she lie to the police about my wearabouts when I called her and text her asking her to help me before my partner called the police? I know alcohol is a depressant and I've been told by the crisis team that bereavement counselling and tackling family issues should keep the drink in check as it's not a dependency it's when this stuff happens

[Frin9e in reply to Leenie0811]

aww ok, I've cut my mum out of my life not that I seen her anyway, I think for now you should concentrate on you're self, does your partner understand ? I know what you mean about drinking but it doesn't help does it ? It feels like it does for the time you're drinking it but then reality kicks in back to square one, i hope you get the help you need soon 😊

[Leenie0811]

Yeah he understands he's the only one that's stuck by me through this he deserves a medal for the stuff he has had to put up with. He knew my dad before he died and he knows when I'm not feeling down and doing good that I'm doing what he would have wanted me to do. How do you cut your mum out your life? I feel like coz I only have one parent I need to keep giving her chances but I can't anymore