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Hello. I am looking for a supportive group as I continue the work to heal from a childhood of trauma. My "official" diagnoses are major depression, anxiety, complex PTSD and replacement child syndrome. I have an ACE score of 9. I've fallen into a deep depression and am struggling to climb out of the pit. I've made an appointment with a psychiatrist to re-evaluate my medication. In the meantime I'm holding on by my finger tips.


12 Replies

  • Hi. Your in the right place. I have resistant depression, PTSD with alexithymia. I'm off to psychiatrist in the morning for med review. My fingertips are also worn down to bone from clinging on. You are not alone.

  • Thank you for responding.

  • Hello d Peterson you just described me pretty much to the t. I am too stuck in a rut and feel like the walls are closing in on me. Hanging on to the hope that one day I will be back better then ever and gaining knowledge that will allow me to overcome my demons that have come to control my life over the course of the past few months.

  • Hopong the best for you.

  • Sending good karma your way! I struggle with anxiety, depression and ptsd as well.

  • What is ACE?

  • ACE is an abbreviation for Adverse Childhood Experiences. It's a group of ten adverse experiences that have been shown to have signigicant impacts on children. The impacts include emotional issues and physical issues. The higher the score the greater the impact. With my score of 9, I have a significantly higher risk of developing cancer for example.

  • Thank you for your reply. I do have good in my life, but also have long time depression/anxiety patterns. I wanted to say welcome. In a short time, I have been in contact with people who have "scratched below the surface" and have lives of inspiration. I am an older person so sometimes there are other issues there as well. I wish you well as you have scheduled an appointment. Remember, we are here.

  • Welcome. I'm new here myself (about a week or two ago).

  • Hi dpeterson. I am here if you ever want to talk to someone. I know how you feel and would love to give you my support and love.

  • Thank you so much for your kind offer. I have so many issues that I don't even know where to start. I work on this piece and then bump up against another and then another. I don't know if it's wiser to just medicate myself into some level of functionality or to continue trying to resolve and integrate all the issues. Most of the time it just seems so much easier to crawl back in bed and disappear into sleep. Until the nightmares start.

  • I know on an intellectual level that everything I ingest has an affect on my well being. When I'm in the pit of depression I don't eat well or drink adequate fluids. Its a huge project to drink water and eat nutritious foods. Its so hard to make the effort to take care of myself. Today i went to the grocery store and bought easy things like stick cheeses, yogurt cups, peanut butter, crackers and several different kinds of fruit. We just moved and the new place didn't have an ice maker in the frig so splurged and bought a countertop ice machine. Today at the store I also got water flavoring with extra B vitamins in it. Hoping these things all help me feel a little more pep.

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