Hi all. I'm a 36 year old female. My story is a bit lengthy but I REALLY appreciate you reading it and any advice you may have. I have suffered OCD, depression and anxiety most of my life in one way or another. I was first put on Paxil 18 years ago for postpartum depression. I remained on Paxil through a subsequent pregnancy. Last March I became pregnant. Big surprise! I was told I was not able to have more children. I weaned myself off of the Paxil and occasional Ativan that I used for sleep. I'm a nurse and I work nights. About this time I was taken off work due to extreme nausea and vomiting caused by the pregnancy. At 25 weeks pregnant shit hit the fan. I was blasted with horrific anxiety. I couldn't sleep, eat, function. I left my family home and stayed with my mom and dad. I couldn't let her out of my sight. I was placed in an inpatient facility for one, yes one day. The second day they decided I couldn't be there because I was pregnant. During that one day I was placed on Zoloft and klonopin. By God's grace I was accepted to see the only obgyn/psychiatrist in California. I traveled 4 hours weekly to see her. She started me back on Paxil and Ativan. I continued to be unable to function. Hell is the only way to describe it. At 32 weeks My water broke and I was ambulances 1.5 hours away where I had an emergency c section. He was in the NICU for 3 weeks. During this time the hell continued. The dr in the hospital switched me back to klonopin. I'm going to not drag this on further as you get the picture. Postpartum depression soon kicked in. I was very unfortunately switched to a new psychiatrist as I could no longer see the other one because I was past postpartum. Pristiq was added to my Paxil and I remained taking Ativan at bed. Things started to look up. This week I have slipped. I'm having the anxiety and depression again. I'm scared to death to go back where I was. I think it's rooting from me having to return to work on 3/1. I just need advice. How do you cope? I can't handle the symptoms. Feel like I can't see, extreme forgetfulness, panic, feel like I'm floating. I am on Paxil 40 mg, pristiq 50 mg, deplin, Ativan 1/2mg at bed. I go to a counselor every other week. Please help.