Regression

[Lsavadge]

Life gas been tough since Dec. 2015. I lost my grandfather, then in July I had my first miscarriage. My grandmother got sick and she passed just before thanksgiving. I had my second miscarriage and found out about it the day after Thanksgiving. Then I had my second D&C, first was after first miscarriage, and it did not go well. 4 days later I had to have an emergency D&C again. The day after the one year anniversary of my grandfather's passing a family friend passed away. The first day of the new year I had my first Hugh anxiety attack in over a year. In July I finished my taper of klonopin so that I could try to have a successful pregnancy. Since the taper I have developed peripheral neuropathy in my hand, arms, legs and feet.these feelings keep me from sleeping well and increase my anxiety. I used to scratch when I had an overload of emotions. Not so that I would bleed but cause the blood vessels to break under the skin. I haven't done it in over 6 years and with everything that has been going on I have started at it again but now I bruise myself. My anxiety is out of control at this point and I feel like I am on a downward spiral. Just venting

[BonnieSue]

YUK! I'll bet you hate this downward spiral! You definitely need to get the anxiety under control again. That seems to mean a drug, maybe an antidepressant that's good at reducing anxiety and that's safe during pregnancy. There are several choices. Do you have a psychiatrist? If not, I can tell you where to look for one if you'd like. I hope you do get pregnant and have a healthy baby. Take care!

[Lsavadge in reply to BonnieSue]

I am on buspar but at the moment it is not covering. I see a Dr. for my anxiety, actually she is an APN. We shall see how it goes.

[BonnieSue in reply to Lsavadge]

Are you going to call and ask her for an increase in the medication?

[Ceilingmoth]

Hi there. I wanted to say that although the death of so many loved ones is an obvious toll on you, along side all the other hard things you have had to endure, there is such a strong positive side and that is the idea that there were so many people in your life that were so close to you and that you loved so much, and that loved and supported you back. I don't know what it feels like to have so many people love me so much that I would hurt so badly for losing them, but I can tell you from the other side of the fence it is better to have had those people in your life, and to have lost them, than to never have had them at all.

In regard to the anxiety and the hold it has on you I want to share that I hurt so badly some days for things I worry about too, and worry isn't really a strong enough word but I will use it anyway. The feeling doesn't get any less strong but with counseling I have been able to learn to not let it take over my life. There are a lot of methods I've learned to be able to redirect my focus from terrifying things to good things and I only take medicine once a week when the methods don't help.

I also developed neuropathy and it contributes to an already chronic nerve pain I had been treated for but man was that a B just to have one more thing on my plate to worry about.

Feel free to message for someone to listen

[Lsavadge in reply to Ceilingmoth]

Thank you. The neuropathy makes my anxiety worse which then makes the neuropathy worse. It is a vicious cycle. I was seeing a therapist but she left To go somewhere farther away from me. It takes me a long time to find and trust someone. It took me a long time to find her. I am not one to stay with someone that I am not comfortable with after the first session or two. I was doing ok until the neuropathy started to get worse. I sleep less due to it. I had to take a sleeping pill before since I don't really sleep, but now it is worse and still taking a sleeping pill. Not to mention that I teach three year olds so having no energy is not an option and I can't have them not touch my hands or arms. Taking buspar has covered ok since I tapered off of klonopin. It has not made me feel comfortable like the klonopin did. I have had to take about 1 1/2 klonopin since the new year started. That is a bit of a set back as well. I am sorry that u have not had the love from others that everyone deserves.

[Ceilingmoth in reply to Lsavadge]

For neuropathy I was treated with gabapentin, then cymbalta, and then Lyrica which was the only medicine that worked without bad side effects. Maybe ask to see if that is something that would help make life a little easier.