GAD ruling my life

[Jilld1314]

Hi, I'm Jill and I've been dealing with GAD and depression for 20 years, aince I was 17, making me 37. This is the worst it has been. The smallest things in my life that go wrong are one million times harder to deal with than the average person. I blame myself, cry a lot, it rules my life. My latest issue is getting my insurance company to approve a drug I've taken for 4 to 5 years. It's not related to the anxiety but not knowing when it will be approved is driving me nuts. I've already had to pay full retail, $750, which I can't afford. My friend calls it hurry up, waiting.

[Andrea58801]

I cry almost everyday My anxiety rules my life at times as well. WE CAN BEAT THIS!!

[Jilld1314 in reply to Andrea58801]

Thank you for the reply. I get so easily caught up in any bump in the road. I realize, not always, that I am making things for me worse by just giving in. I'm realizing it now b/c I just spent the past two days on the couch watching streaming TV and feeling sorry for myself. A waste of two days but can't change that. Just took a nice relaxing shower, sang in the shower and going to make some dinner. I just wish it wasn't so easy to give in and let the anxiety get to me. I guess a day at a time, but I feel like telling people to eff off; they're not in our shoes, they don't know our thought process...

[Miketheartist]

I understand it's frustrating not being able to cope and have perspective on life. Not having those coping skills to deal is frustrating. For me depression follows from the paralysis. Remember there is a better way. Good luck

[TAPNewEngland]

Hi Jill. Lots of stuff going on in your life. A couple of things to consider. Do you work? If so, check with your HR department to see if they have an Employee Assistance Program. This program is free to company employees. You can also use this program to see a therapist and depending on his/her diagnosis, you may be able to get your medication MUCH cheaper. Take one day at a time and look for little victories every day. The goal is to have more good days than bad ones.

[Jilld1314 in reply to TAPNewEngland]

Hi,

Thank you for the reply. I am currently not working - 2016 really kicked my butt so my family is paying for my bills. They're giving me the time to get better and they're already doing so much for me, so it's not fair to ask for more help financially, though they were able to pay for a script I am awaiting approval for. That's what is driving me nuts right now. I paid $750 for a drug I need, because I need it. Once it's approved, I should be able to get my money back. If it doesn't go through, Johnson and Johnson has a Patient Assistant Program, where if your ins doesn't cover the drug, they'll give it to you for free. I do see a therapist, a psychiatrist, nutritionist, a personal trainer and a recovery coach, though that's been slow going. I work a small part time job, which is really my allowance, but I have some much time on my hands, I focus on the negative things. My doc calls me every day with an update which is great and helps alleviate my anxiety a little, but the ins company keeps pushing back. I know once this is solved, it'll be something else that will push me back. I start training today, which I'm excited about. I have all of these resources but I also have to make the effort. That's been a little harder than I thought. I think today will be a good day. Thank you.

[TAPNewEngland]

My pleasure. Since you are working part time, why don't you look to volunteer? It's rewarding and can possibly lead to a full time job.

[Jilld1314]

I've been thinking about volunteering for NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness - I never heard about it until Carrie Fisher passed, as she was a big supporter. It's all about taking the stigma away and getting that message out, for people with mental illnesses. There's one not far from me. I kind of need to keep my schedule open for now but once I get a routine going, I'd like to.